Wednesday, September 14, 2005

Am I seeing things? Yes... yes you are... nothing like hallucinations of a hopeful

Well where to start... the last few weeks have been difficult to say the least. Why? Well lets see hubby's family in a word sucks... on the one level sucks because one cousin is a jackass and on the other hand sucks because a good cousin is now dead leaving a 7.5 months pregnant wife, a 2 year old daughter and a 6 year old son...

The funeral visitation was overfilled with PREGNANT people... leading Hubby to say - maybe you should ask them what they've been drinking... which led me to HIT him in front of his family a hard punch to the upper arm... Not normally a violent woman, but hey if the shoe fits... don't tell your wife who's been poas and throwing it in a monitor then checking CM, CP and temperature for the last 6 months to drink whatever the pregnant ladies are drinking... He of course just chuckled and went on his merry way.

Then we had house guests... My in laws came for a visit... they are very nice people, but I am VERY VERY VERY happy to have my house back... to myself and the dogs and occasionally hubby... So life is now beautiful...

Which leads us to the title of our post... yes I apparently was hallucinating with ambiguous lines... I started poas fairly early in the hopes of having an early positive and I could have sworn I saw a line... granted the darn things NEVER turned up in the allotted time, but a girl could hope right? So were they evaps? I don't know... was this a chemical pregnancy? I don't know... I just now the darn period showed up like clockwork and so now we're back in the trying pool... It seriously would have been nice to have a pregnancy as an anniversary present but apparently that got knocked of my anniversary gift list this year... Onward and upward right?

So I've decided if I'm not pregnant by January which is when my yearly is scheduled we'll get my doctor to start doing testing as to why we're not pregnant... this would of course SUCK... but at least now I feel as if I have a plan in place... I think... I hope that I don't need to use this plan, but if I do then I shall.

I never thought it'd take 6 months to get pregnant and really it hasn't... but a failed pregnany/ectopic just doesn't put one in the "conceives easily" boat ya know what I mean?

So I've stepped across a threshhold and to be honest the water isn't all that warm and inviting... the people are friendly, but how far do I want to dive in? Not quite sure yet... but I will of course keep you posted...

Wish me luck as we journey on and hopefully blog a bit better in the future... on to cooking dinner for hubby and I... chicken marsala with sex on the beach as a drink YUM... there is one perk of not being pregnant... got to love the liquor you can imbibe while you're trying...

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