Decisions...

I've worked nights for the last 15 years... I briefly worked days about 10 years ago, but quickly went back to nights. Recently a position has been posted that would allow me to go to days for 12 hours- 3 days a week. I'm very torn. My husband works nights and has no desire to go to days.

Going to days means a lot of change for me... for an antisocial girl like me it would mean more people... more bustle... I like the people I work with. They're great. I'm comfortable.

I don't know if it would be better for Squeaker if I worked days or not. I don't know if it would be easier for my mom if I worked days or not... I'm very torn and indecisive about this. I don't know if when we add a second child to this family it would be easier for everyone if I was on days or not. It's just a hard thing to think about.

So... here I sit trying to come up with an answer and good old husband says "Do what you think is best." Gee thanks...

Six Years

I met this wonderful man March 31, 2003... well to be honest we'd met before, but I didn't remember him. Anyway... we met again on March 31st. He was coming to the city that I lived in to visit a mutual friend and needed a place to stay as mutual friend didn't really have much for him to sleep on except a couch and I had a whole spare bedroom. I offered up my house and went to work that night. I had a spark - that tingle in your stomach when I had opened the door. We went on a date the next night and the rest is history.

It was just right... we became engaged in February of 2004. I had already bought a wedding dress in December of 2003... I was that confident that we were getting married. I believe I told him... "Hey guess what... I got a great deal on this dress today." When he asked how much I paid and I told him... he asked what the heck kind of dress it was. I responded back with, "it's a wedding dress, so you better hurry up and marry me before it goes out of style." I asked him to marry me and he said I needed the cat's permission. He finally said it was HIS job... and that it would happen at the right time.

He asked me with a message in a bottle... I still have the treasure chest and message in a bottle. It sits on our mantle. Our parents were thrilled... my dad went ahead making plans, telling everyone under the sun and just generally being thrilled - we learned about the telling everyone under the sun at his funeral... which negated the idea of eloping.

So... on September 18, 2004 I married my best friend... a man who accepts me just as I am. We had no idea that our quest to have a family would be as rocky as it was. It was never my problem... it was our problem. He was by my side through the HSG - although he did get really warm and really pasty... and he was the one to tell me that our first miscarriage was actually ectopic. He even sat by my side as I had an in office d/c - in spite of that whole not good with stuff like that. I still give him cr*p about not answering his phone at 4 a.m. when I called to let him know that I was on my way home as my water broke.

Through all of this... I would marry him again in a heartbeat. So... Happy Anniversary my love!