Saturday, May 31, 2008

Nine Months...

If you were to look back nine months you would have seen me... pregnant... working... totally oblivious to the obvious fact that I would soon have a child. I didn't believe it. I felt as if I was getting ready for something that was imaginary. Needless to say reality hit at 11:09 a.m. on the 31st of August 2007. It was one of the best days of my life... the other best day of course was marrying D my wonderful husband...

I don't want to make being a mom this romanticized version because there are times when it's hard. There are times when I wonder what the hell was I thinking. There are moments when I don't want to pump breast milk at work or nurse at night and there are times when I wish Squeaker would be soothed or comforted by D or Grandma or anyone else but me... but those moments are few and far between and are not my reality most days.

The last few weeks have been hard... Squeaker managed to get crawling down pat, pulling himself up on objects and sitting upright unassisted all in a week and that meant his sleep cycle got all wonked up. He was half waking up in the middle of the night by sitting himself upright and crying with eyes closed. It was difficult to soothe him back to sleep and it was downright frustrating to watch it happen. Laying him down just resulted in him popping right back upright as if to say "See mom look at my new trick." Needless to say we are happy to be past that little bump in the road. We still have not managed to get the Squeaker into his crib... and I so don't know when that will happen... we talk about it and then forget to follow through.

The past week he's also finally gotten a taste for solid food. We've also learned he'll eat solids, just not if given by me. So D or my mom are the token feeders... he lays eyes on me and he wants the boob none of this real food crap. For them he's a baby bird with his mouth open... for me he's a mouth closed not getting anything but a boob or a bottle past these lips.

The past nine months have flown by... my in laws visited this past week as D turned 30 on Monday - sorry I forgot to post my loving post to him... but I did wish him a happy birthday and bought him a wonderful vacuum cleaner (he wanted it and it was horribly expensive) for his birthday. They are already talking about his first birthday... I can't even imagine that, but know that it will happen and soon... but for now I have 3 months to think about that and I can savor those three months... and just enjoy my little baby boy who isn't so little anymore...

This weekend my nephew will be competing in the Odyssey of the Mind competition and will be carrying a picture of Squeaker as his good luck charm... when I took the picture of him in his "lucky and charming" t-shirt and printed it I was shocked... Shocked by just how much he looks like my dad. The facial expression was the same as my dad and that was eerie. Others have mentioned that he looks like me, but then if you look at images of my dad you truly see just who he looks like... Excluding the blue eyes of course those are all D.

My coworkers call him "petite" granted they all gave birth to mammoth elephants in comparison with my little mouse, but he's perfect just the way he is... So here is my miracle... my son... my Squeaker who truly lights up my days and sometimes my nights :D