This is a tough post to write... and while generally I focus on infertility or parenting this is about something else... not meeting or exceeding someone's expectations. I learned that I did that. I thought I was meeting or exceeding expectations, but turns out I'm not - but it's not in a cut and dry sense of the word... no it's more in a vague way which really is irritating. I'm actually pretty peeved by that realization. However it has opened my eyes that I can't meet everyone's expectations. I can't exceed everyone's expectations and damnit all... I can't kill myself trying to. Maybe it's the wake up call I needed.
I've also learned I'm not going to win any popularity contests. I get superficial friendships, but those deep friendships that inspire loyalty are few and far between. I'm not sure how to rectify that. It actually makes me pull more inward. I'm already a pretty inward sort of person, so this makes it even more so.
I know this is vague... but have you ever thought you wanted something only to realize maybe you didn't when you learned you didn't meet someones expectations? I just did... and I'm not sure how I feel about it. By the way this has nothing to do with parenting or infertility... and more to do with just life stuff.
Soon - the year in review...