Sunday, December 27, 2009

Not surpassing expectations...

This is a tough post to write... and while generally I focus on infertility or parenting this is about something else... not meeting or exceeding someone's expectations. I learned that I did that. I thought I was meeting or exceeding expectations, but turns out I'm not - but it's not in a cut and dry sense of the word... no it's more in a vague way which really is irritating. I'm actually pretty peeved by that realization. However it has opened my eyes that I can't meet everyone's expectations. I can't exceed everyone's expectations and damnit all... I can't kill myself trying to. Maybe it's the wake up call I needed.

I've also learned I'm not going to win any popularity contests. I get superficial friendships, but those deep friendships that inspire loyalty are few and far between. I'm not sure how to rectify that. It actually makes me pull more inward. I'm already a pretty inward sort of person, so this makes it even more so.

I know this is vague... but have you ever thought you wanted something only to realize maybe you didn't when you learned you didn't meet someones expectations? I just did... and I'm not sure how I feel about it. By the way this has nothing to do with parenting or infertility... and more to do with just life stuff.

Soon - the year in review...


Andrea said...

Expect less and you will not be disappointed in the end. I always have "high" expectations and have recently lowered the bar, as an attempt to not be disappointed by others or have them disappointed in me.

Overall, I am trying to not sweat the SMALL stuff, as most of life's issues are just that, small and so trivial in the grand scheme of things.

Be good to you!

Plant Girl said...

Popularity contests aren't all they're cracked up to be. Most of the people I know who have come the farthest in life were NOT in the "in" group in High School.

You are an amazing person. You are a fantastic daughter, sister, wife, mother, friend AND nurse. Don't let some vague comments get you down. You know you do a great job; your patients and their families know that too.

I'm coming to learn that the deep friendships, although they may be few and far between, weather the storms of life much better than the more casual ones. And when shit hits the fan, I'm blessed to have you standing there to hold my hand, offering words of support.

Love you!

Amy said...

Wow. You just described a situation in my life, also not related to fertility or parenting., as you said. A friendship. (Or what I thought was a friendship).

Yo-yo Mama said...

It happens to the best of us, and I do mean BEST. Lowering your expectations does make it easier to deal with more things, but higher expectations mean that you don't have to compromise. Balancing the two? Well that's ideal but impossible. At least for me it has been.

DinosaurD said...

But what the heck makes someone else the expert on who/what/how you should be?
Please take a good long look in a mirror and give yourself a hug from me.
Your expectationless friend (whether you want me or not),