Saturday, May 01, 2010

What IF?

What if infertility wasn't a part of my life...

I have a hard time thinking of it. I am so far away from that person I was before infertility. The one who thought s*x without birth control meant a baby. It's hard to think of that person and wonder how I would be different. I would be though.

I would have a 5 year old rather than an almost 3 year old.
I would not be g12p1a11 (That just looks WRONG on so many levels).
I would not had to have taken IM progesterone.

My husband and myself would not break into a cold sweat talking about trying for a sibling, yet knowing we both want it. You would think that almost 3 years since the birth of my son we'd be a little less PTSD from all we went through, but we're not.

Imagine if they could say for sure what caused all those miscarriages - were they ectopics resolving on their own or were they just low progesterone?

Imagine a world without infertility... or at the very least everyone with infertility was able to be diagnosed and treated and those treatments worked... wouldn't that be a beautiful thing.


Knocked up...knocked down said...

A world without infertility would be a lot happier and less stressful. It wouldnt make happy in love people despise having sex. It would take away so much heartache and sadness. But God has a plan for us all. We may not see it or agree with it but we have to accept it. Good luck on your journey of bringing your baby a sibling. I wish you the best!

sara said...

Wow - what an amazing post! That world would be a beautiful thing indeed. I am so sorry for all you have been through - "g12p1a11" PTSD - it's a funny thing. I couldn't describe it any better. And I used to think it was for war veterans only... Hugs to you and more hugs...and thanks for the kind words :-)

Megan said...

It is hard thinking about going there again - PTSD is a perfect way to put it.

foxy said...

Visiting from LFCA to wish you a happy blogoversary and birthday! I hope that you have something very special planned.

Thinking about a world without infertility is interesting. It is interesting, because I never really knew about infertility until I was living it. There is nothing that could have prepared me for it, and I really don't feel like I have words to explain how painful it is. I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy. It makes me realize the depth of suffering that can exist that we can't do anything about.

I've never really stopped to think about what my life would be like without infertility. I'd probably have at least two kids already, maybe planning for a third. But you know I wouldn't appreciate them nearly as much as I will the family I'll have someday. Definitely worth thinking about a little more sometime :)