So flight nursing is a bust this go around... however I am going to trudge on and either get a PICU position or take on extra duties in my own unit...
My annual review was today and my manager found out about my applying for the PICU position... she was sad that I had applied and wanted to know why... lets see - you don't listen to me when I tell you there's a problem? Could that possibly be top on the list? Nah she wouldn't understand that one... so now what does she say... if I don't take the picu position she'll put me in a more leadership position such as precepting or charge... hmm too little too late me thinks... but who am I to say that right? Lets see it apparently doesn't matter that all the people that need precepting are almost through orientation huh? So it's really a moot issue... doesn't matter that most of the nurses eat their own young... doesn't matter that we have a black flipping rain cloud hanging over our unit? No those things don't matter apparently... I sincerely hope I don't do those things to my coworkers that the nurses do to others...
I doubt I'm perfect (okay quit laughing...) I know I'm not perfect, but I can't do that bad of a job can I? thoughts?
Oh as for babymaking... waiting to O... just waiting to O... fun fun fun in the land of sex on the beaches... (the drink people! The drink!)
Tuesday, August 30, 2005
Sunday, August 21, 2005
Be vigilant... RANT!
Okay how do you put this bluntly... I hate pedophiles... I truly hate them. I hate that they have invaded my family... I'm not using the politically correct term of sex offenders... No I'm using the non politically correct term of pedophile.
My niece was a victim of sexual abuse by a trusted family friend... A friend's adopted daughter was abused by her adopted father... and now... A step cousin was abused by my husband's cousin the child's step father... and I want them all to be abolished.
This will be something that will affect these little girls for the rest of their lives and for that I am truly sorry for them. I believe there is a special place in hell for people that commit these crimes... and now I have to find a way to get my husband's family to understand why WE (meaning hubby and I) do not want anything to do with this individual... doesn't help we're both mandatory reporters and I'll take pictures of the SOB and have his parole officer on speed dial... doesn't help that hubby is going to have to document a whole lot in regards to this guy... doesn't help that both of us are horrified that we did not see any signs this was coming...
Evil can be in your backyard... be vigilant, protect your kids... teach them early good touch vs bad touch and let their voices be heard.
My niece was a victim of sexual abuse by a trusted family friend... A friend's adopted daughter was abused by her adopted father... and now... A step cousin was abused by my husband's cousin the child's step father... and I want them all to be abolished.
This will be something that will affect these little girls for the rest of their lives and for that I am truly sorry for them. I believe there is a special place in hell for people that commit these crimes... and now I have to find a way to get my husband's family to understand why WE (meaning hubby and I) do not want anything to do with this individual... doesn't help we're both mandatory reporters and I'll take pictures of the SOB and have his parole officer on speed dial... doesn't help that hubby is going to have to document a whole lot in regards to this guy... doesn't help that both of us are horrified that we did not see any signs this was coming...
Evil can be in your backyard... be vigilant, protect your kids... teach them early good touch vs bad touch and let their voices be heard.
Wednesday, August 17, 2005
Nope not our month...
I'm out...
I hate it... I hate periods... I never thought I'd say that considering I spent 9 years preventing a pregnancy... and I'm only in month 5 of trying to get pregnant, but still... I hate it... I wish there was a magic pill that you could take and say bingo I'm pregnant... I spent at least 30 dollars on pregnancy tests this month... give or take a few dollars... and for what? A bfn... yep perfect timing, and a negative... apparently our sperm and eggs could not match up...
Of course I'm seriously thinking that intelligent women's eggs are apparently into playing hide and seek with their husband's sperm, but who am I to think that... oh yeah the one who has seen a number of idiots get pregnant at the drop of a hat... never have a miscarriage and of course spit out kids left and right without even taking care of the chldren that they have... Okay rant over...
It wasn't meant to be this month - I get it... it'll happen... In God's time... I have faith that it will occur... I know it will happen and hopefully it will happen soon. Hopefully 9 months from now a baby will be in my arms... and my husband will be a daddy...
I hate it... I hate periods... I never thought I'd say that considering I spent 9 years preventing a pregnancy... and I'm only in month 5 of trying to get pregnant, but still... I hate it... I wish there was a magic pill that you could take and say bingo I'm pregnant... I spent at least 30 dollars on pregnancy tests this month... give or take a few dollars... and for what? A bfn... yep perfect timing, and a negative... apparently our sperm and eggs could not match up...
Of course I'm seriously thinking that intelligent women's eggs are apparently into playing hide and seek with their husband's sperm, but who am I to think that... oh yeah the one who has seen a number of idiots get pregnant at the drop of a hat... never have a miscarriage and of course spit out kids left and right without even taking care of the chldren that they have... Okay rant over...
It wasn't meant to be this month - I get it... it'll happen... In God's time... I have faith that it will occur... I know it will happen and hopefully it will happen soon. Hopefully 9 months from now a baby will be in my arms... and my husband will be a daddy...
Tuesday, August 09, 2005
Is this our month?
5 days post O - is this our month?
I probably shouldn't be reading infertility blogs... technically I'm not infertile... I got pregnant within the first couple months and had an ectopic pregnancy and of course had 1 previous miscarriage... but I think I identify with them to a certain extent... my innocence was taken a long time ago when the words happy and healthy 9 months... now I have the fear of is it in the right place... I've had 2 pregnancies and neither have gone past 6 weeks... that's saying something. Not sure what it's saying, but it's damn depressing to write.
Anyways well reading blogs of Julia, Julie, Karen, etc I got to thinking... I know bad thing to do when you're up late at night and I was so happy to see Julia's pregnant again - after the IVF with PGD... and I was ecstatic to hear of Charlie's escapades at 6 months... and I was horrified at the selfish comments that were made to Karen... and I realized I'm one of them... I may have only started this journey but I understand on some level...
I had an interesting conversation with my best friend... she's fast approaching a year with ttc and understandably quite jaded and is trying to find a way to step back a little from all of this... and I have no idea what to tell her to do. No clue!
She and I this month weirdly enough started af on the same day and had peaks on the same day with our CBFM's and probably ovulated close together... she's convinced her bd timing was crappy - mine was given a high for chances... I'm secretly hoping that somehow we both get pregnant this month or if only one of us can it will be her. She's my bf, she's my sister in every definition of the word except we do not share blood and while ttc has only just started to get to me it's been getting to her a lot longer and if there was only 1 magic pill that could make 1 of us pregnant I'd gladly give it to her so that she could have her heart desire... I know I'm a sap... but having only started this journey in March I can only imagine how she feels...and saying all these things mean nothing because unfortunately I can't back up the promise of the magic pill... all I can do is be her friend and support her as she supports me and sometimes that feels like it just isn't enough...
I'd offer her my uterus however that apparently has not been proven to be as hospitable as it's owner so that's out... same goes for the eggs - not sure they're quite up to snuff yet... hopefully this will be a moot point and my dear friend and myself will both soon have babies to love and snuggle... and that's really what all this is about... we both want to be moms...
I probably shouldn't be reading infertility blogs... technically I'm not infertile... I got pregnant within the first couple months and had an ectopic pregnancy and of course had 1 previous miscarriage... but I think I identify with them to a certain extent... my innocence was taken a long time ago when the words happy and healthy 9 months... now I have the fear of is it in the right place... I've had 2 pregnancies and neither have gone past 6 weeks... that's saying something. Not sure what it's saying, but it's damn depressing to write.
Anyways well reading blogs of Julia, Julie, Karen, etc I got to thinking... I know bad thing to do when you're up late at night and I was so happy to see Julia's pregnant again - after the IVF with PGD... and I was ecstatic to hear of Charlie's escapades at 6 months... and I was horrified at the selfish comments that were made to Karen... and I realized I'm one of them... I may have only started this journey but I understand on some level...
I had an interesting conversation with my best friend... she's fast approaching a year with ttc and understandably quite jaded and is trying to find a way to step back a little from all of this... and I have no idea what to tell her to do. No clue!
She and I this month weirdly enough started af on the same day and had peaks on the same day with our CBFM's and probably ovulated close together... she's convinced her bd timing was crappy - mine was given a high for chances... I'm secretly hoping that somehow we both get pregnant this month or if only one of us can it will be her. She's my bf, she's my sister in every definition of the word except we do not share blood and while ttc has only just started to get to me it's been getting to her a lot longer and if there was only 1 magic pill that could make 1 of us pregnant I'd gladly give it to her so that she could have her heart desire... I know I'm a sap... but having only started this journey in March I can only imagine how she feels...and saying all these things mean nothing because unfortunately I can't back up the promise of the magic pill... all I can do is be her friend and support her as she supports me and sometimes that feels like it just isn't enough...
I'd offer her my uterus however that apparently has not been proven to be as hospitable as it's owner so that's out... same goes for the eggs - not sure they're quite up to snuff yet... hopefully this will be a moot point and my dear friend and myself will both soon have babies to love and snuggle... and that's really what all this is about... we both want to be moms...
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