Is this our month?

5 days post O - is this our month?
I probably shouldn't be reading infertility blogs... technically I'm not infertile... I got pregnant within the first couple months and had an ectopic pregnancy and of course had 1 previous miscarriage... but I think I identify with them to a certain extent... my innocence was taken a long time ago when the words happy and healthy 9 months... now I have the fear of is it in the right place... I've had 2 pregnancies and neither have gone past 6 weeks... that's saying something. Not sure what it's saying, but it's damn depressing to write.

Anyways well reading blogs of Julia, Julie, Karen, etc I got to thinking... I know bad thing to do when you're up late at night and I was so happy to see Julia's pregnant again - after the IVF with PGD... and I was ecstatic to hear of Charlie's escapades at 6 months... and I was horrified at the selfish comments that were made to Karen... and I realized I'm one of them... I may have only started this journey but I understand on some level...

I had an interesting conversation with my best friend... she's fast approaching a year with ttc and understandably quite jaded and is trying to find a way to step back a little from all of this... and I have no idea what to tell her to do. No clue!

She and I this month weirdly enough started af on the same day and had peaks on the same day with our CBFM's and probably ovulated close together... she's convinced her bd timing was crappy - mine was given a high for chances... I'm secretly hoping that somehow we both get pregnant this month or if only one of us can it will be her. She's my bf, she's my sister in every definition of the word except we do not share blood and while ttc has only just started to get to me it's been getting to her a lot longer and if there was only 1 magic pill that could make 1 of us pregnant I'd gladly give it to her so that she could have her heart desire... I know I'm a sap... but having only started this journey in March I can only imagine how she feels...and saying all these things mean nothing because unfortunately I can't back up the promise of the magic pill... all I can do is be her friend and support her as she supports me and sometimes that feels like it just isn't enough...

I'd offer her my uterus however that apparently has not been proven to be as hospitable as it's owner so that's out... same goes for the eggs - not sure they're quite up to snuff yet... hopefully this will be a moot point and my dear friend and myself will both soon have babies to love and snuggle... and that's really what all this is about... we both want to be moms...