Tuesday, October 18, 2005

Poor Puppy

We did it... We were responsible pet owners and took little Lola in to be spayed... or as my mother is referring to it her hysterectomy. My fil has called it depriving her of her right to reproduce. Hubby left her at the vets and came home and hugged me and said "She looked at me like why are you leaving me here daddy?" It apparently broke his heart. So fast forward to this afternoon... we actually got sleep - I'm not sure who gave drugs to Ernie -but thank you... he slept- so in turn we slept...

We go to the vets and pick up our little munchkin who is frigid... she's so cold that hubby turns on the car and the heat and grabs a blanket. It took us filling a sock with rice and nuking it in the microwave to get her body heat up to normal... So now Lola is with her father and has her little rice sock and he's going to be checking on her frequently.

And I'm sitting at home watching a show called Electric Orgasms on the Discovery Health Network... boy if this orgasmitron works wouldn't that be nice? Turn a machine on and vroom vroom... definitely sounds like a good thing. 3 English women are signing up for this trial... the sad part is that I'm watching it engrossed - and I don't really have a problem with this issue... I feel very bad for the women who have sexual dysfunction.. this first lady poor gal just doesn't seem to get it in the right area - and she's crying and I just feel so sad for her. It's nice to know that physicians are actually taking a chance and working on this area of science.

So what was the point of this post... to be truthful I'm not sure. Right now we're in a holding pattern so to speak on the ttc bandwagon... I'm engrossed with my best friend's pregnancy and have spent a lot of time just praying that things go well. For myself - my husband and I have talked... we're okay right now... we'll keep trying for as long as both of us wants to keep trying. We've talked about the possibility of IUI's and IVF's and adoption... all 3 of these things we are open to. We'll move on to the next step when we need to. Hopefully we will never need to, but at least we've talked about the what if's... and for me that makes me feel better.

On some level I feel like a failure... but then I look at my husband and realize it's a 50/50 deal here - we each contribute... so it could be me, it could be him... either way we're in it together. And in the end... that's the part that matters. So we carry on... trudging ahead... and hoping that soon one of these days I can change this from a maybe baby to baby blog... it'll happen... I just have to be patient.

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