Sunday, June 10, 2007

Welcome to Paranoid City...

My name is Sami and I'll be your guide :)

I'm going to give a warning out there that this is probably paranoid. That most people wouldn't be as uptight as I am. However I need to remind all of you of a couple of facts then get on with the story. First - we've had 11 miscarriages/ectopic pregnancies/ early exits/whatever you want to call them they sucked. Second - my family history sucks in regards to pregnancies... late problems are not uncommon and by problems I mean stillborn and miscarriages. Third - my sister had a baby that was born still with heart defects. Fourth - the NN would not cooperate for the u/s and show his/her heart structures so that all 4 chambers of the heart are there working together. That's an important picture - it is the proverbial money shot to diagnose defects.

So... while my doctor was pretty nonchalant about the lack of the "money shot" he did say we would need another u/s at 28-30 weeks. I love pictures of the NN, but I would rather "know" than "not know" in regards to the heart. This weekend I had the pleasure to be able to talk to a pediatric cardiologist and he said - heck come to my office for a fetal echo and we can say if all the structures are there or not. Mind you my ob hasn't mentioned a fetal echo, just that we need to get more pictures. Now here's where I run into paranoia... Remember I'm a peds nurse in an ICU... I see the bad and I see the good, and I see the babies that have their defects repaired and the ones that are just diagnosed due to lack of prenatal care etc. So... sooner = time for me to know and time for me to learn and time for me to figure out and get comfortable with any interventions if the NN had a heart defect. Finding out later means I don't have as much time, yet I spend a few days going - all is fine it all looked good to the little shit wouldn't show all of it's heart we have no idea if it is "normal" or not. Either way I'm obsessing right?

So... I emailed the doc (ped cardio guy) and am awaiting his response. Different things are on the internet as to who should have a fetal echo. One of them was a patient that had a family history of heart defects. The question is - are we saying 1 sibling having a baby with a heart defect equals someone who should have one or are we saying - multiple individuals with heart defects in the family. I asked him these questions.

I'll keep you posted, but would love your thoughts.

Don't worry I am enjoying this NN take 12, I just want to know that "everything looks fine" rather than be in that land of am I being too optimistic or am I being pessimistic. D of course is no help - he said - "will the insurance cover it" and I said "I think so?" and his response "well then lets have someone who knows the heart rather than someone who knows hooha's tell us all is well." Got to love him...


DinosaurD said...

Hey Sami (yes, I'm still hanging in there).
You know I went through something pretty similar with the failure to find the outflow tracts. The 11 days between that and the echo took forever and I would have had the echo immediately if I could have. I always think it's better to know but that's just me.
It also seems like waiting until 28-30 weeks is extreme - if it was just the positioning of the NN, you should be able to get another ultrasound within a few days (or a week of two if they just think the structures are too small to show up well right now).
Hang in there - the NN seems like a fighter.

Michell said...

I have to say that I would probably go for the fetal echo. If for no other reason than piece of mind and stress relief. It will either put your mind to some rest knowing that all is ok or as you stated it will give you time to plan ahead if there is an issue. Hopefully there isn't but being prepared is a good thing most all the time. I do understand though what you mean about being paranoid. I don't have a past history of problems but with what I saw when working as NICU nurse, I will be a basket case when/if I ever get pregnant.

JMB said...

By all means, get the fetal echo. I don't think that you're being paranoid-you've just seen a lot more (the good, the bad, and the really bad) than most, and you know what MAY happen. Waiting so long for another ultrasound is a bit perplexing to me. Son was the same as NN, wouldn't show heart structures the first time and refused to move to help. I was scheduled for a follow-up the next week, and yet another one three days later since we were still missing some images (the third time was the face for any palate issues). Do what you need to feel assured, or prepare for what is ahead. You're just being a mom-a move to Paranoid City is just part of the program!

Kath said...

Dear Sami, I don't think you're being paranoid at all -- the questions you ask are exactly the ones I would be asking. (Or maybe that just makes both of us paranoid -- but then again, we have every right to be!)

For my 20-week scan, the fetal echocardiogram was part of the package. I kind of assumed it was routinely done, but I suppose they did one for me because of my single umbilical artery. I would say get it done now rather than waiting another month. (I thought they'd have you in again soon -- a month is a long time to wait.) The weeks of what-if are the worst, I find.

I have no idea whether the story of your sister would have any impact in your case. My instinct to have it done is irrespective of that -- I would just like you to have as much knowledge and reassurance as early as possible.

Also I'm a bit surprised that there was no way your doc got the baby to turn. Mine had me walk briskly up and down one flight of stairs, and that did the trick.

Maribeth said...

Hang in there. Until then, I'm sitting here with fingers and toes crossed.

Kristin, Rod, and Victoria said...

No great words, just want you to know you're in my thoughts.

OHN said...

With your job you see the percentage of babies that need you. Don't lose site of the huge numbers of babies that you never get to meet--which is a good thing. On the other hand....I am a nut when it comes to knowing all...good and bad...when it comes to any situation. For me, not being paranoid just doesn't exist. I need info and for me, that is what makes me comfortable. BTW, your hubby sounds just like a guy--cut to the chase and git-er-dun. :)