Teaser...

A teaser... is what we (meaning hubby and I) fondly refer to as a positive pregnancy test after or during spotting/period. A teaser fucks with you... makes you get all hopeful only to drop you to the ground... I've never had one go the other way so if this does occur this will be a first for me. This is where we are at right now. Now granted this is the first time I've had spotting that hasn't gone into a full force period yet. Key word of all this is yet. I have some brown creamy cm to occasionally pink creamy cm... either way not something that makes either of us happy at the moment.

I also have a bunch of positive pregnancy tests. Now if we were innocent and not been through this rundown before we might be jumping for joy - high fiving each other saying YEAH We're going to be parents... however this being the 4th time I've told him we've got a positive... my husband and myself are right down at the bottom of the barrel going is this another teaser? Because this certainly feels like a teaser - glancing at one another. My husband is even more pessimistic about this than I am... he was hopeful and told me that I was being silly being pessimistic then the spotting started... now he's right above morbid curiosity which is where I am at as well.

You know what kind of curiosity I'm talking about... the kind that makes you look at train wrecks or tragedy on the TV even though you know it ends badly or isn't pretty etc... that's where we're at right now. I have a lab slip for a beta and a progesterone... I was supposed to do this Saturday (yeah uhmm NO) and am debating about doing this today... my guess my beta will be 20 if I go today... I could of course be wrong. 20 at 16 dpo is pretty awful... but I had 17 at 17 dpo so that's pretty awful as well... who knows this could be the little beta that could...

I pray I'm wrong. I pray I'm not going to get teased. I'm tired of being teased. I know that God has a plan for me and Dan... I'd just really like him to let me know what it is sooner rather than later. So if you are of a praying nature... please send up a prayer that the beta is fantabulous rather than shitty. I could use a fantabulous day rather than a crappy one... Will update once I get the results...