I Have No Self Control...

We all knew patience wasn't a virtue I possessed... *show of hands* thought so. So no one would be surprised by the news that I went for an u/s today. I did only because I had had some more bleeding and truthfully had had some ache in my side. Since I have the history of an ectopic I didn't want to spend all weekend going "is that my tube rupturing?"

So this morning found me making a phone call... I wanted the nurse who I like. I got someone else. She doesn't know me. She hadn't read my file at all. Imagine this conversation...

Nurse: Bleeding can be normal in pregnancy.
Me: Did you even bother to look at my history?
Nurse: *silence*
Me: Because if you had you'd know that I've been pregnant 11 times and I have no children... of those 11 times each has involved bleeding of some sort. One included bleeding that resulted in an ectopic with properly doubling betas and a doctor who told me it couldn't possibly be ectopic, who then left my husband to tell me after my d/c that it was an ectopic.
Nurse: What would you like to do?
Me: I'd like an u/s - I know we won't see a heart beat, but we can at least get the whole ectopic watch done with.
Nurse: Today okay?
Me: Yes.

So this afternoon while I was waiting for my u/s I was in the bedroom, puppies decided they were going to escape from their x-pen. I watched Purple aka Bert climb the x-pen. Great... just great. Mind you we don't have enough kennels yet. We hoped we wouldn't need to buy any more kennels. We have 2 large kennels for Ernie and Meg, a medium sized kennel for Chance, and then a small kennel for Lola and then there's another small kennel somewhere and a medium one.

The puppies are too big for the medium one already so that was out. What the heck am I going to do with these puppies while I'm at the RE's office? Decision was made that the puppies were going with to the RE's office - worse case scenario I can hold a puppy and sob on the ride home since D won't be with for this u/s as he's at a class.

I put plastic in the back of my SUV, and tried to erect a barrier so that the puppies will stay in the back and not be in the front. Load up puppies, throw in some toys. Put all other dogs in their kennels and tell them I will be back shortly.

Ride up went fine. No puppies in the front seat and I left them with the instruction to "behave themselves." Since these are excellent puppies they all looked at me with their halos and nodded.

Once in the RE's office we debated about my lmp as well as ovulation date, only to have Dr. Sarcastic (my favorite) deciding to go with my ovulation date. Let me just say - much better wander than the nurses. In he's in and we see exactly what we're supposed to see at 5 weeks 2 days - a gestational sac, and a fetal pole (at least I assume that's what the white dot is). I apparently ovulated on my right which is what side I was having pain on.

In the consulation room - bless his heart he said "While bleeding can be common with your history it's totally understandable to come in for an early scan." I told him what I thought of his nurses calling it "normal" he laughed and said they didn't read your history did they? I said no... He also suspects that some of those early miscarriages where the betas don't double quite right could be due to ectopics that resolve themselves. Which I didn't know he even thought that. So next week repeat u/s with Dr. Sarcastic. D will be there for that one and we should see a heart beat if it's going to be there. Dr. Sarcastic also mentioned that D and I don't waste time at all in regards to getting pregnant.

I also had the opportunity to flip through my chart while I walked to the front desk... and D's count from the IUI was actually 13.1 million, with 10.1 million motile prewash... so not as awful as we thought it was. Not perfect, but that could have been due to the extra curricular activities we indulged in.

Okay so back to the car... I come out and what do I see? 6 puppies in the front. 3 in the basket and 3 in the driver's seat. A container that used to contain gummy bears empty. They ate the gummy bears all of them! Good grief...

So the car ride home involved 1 puppy puking, 3 puppies in a basket, 2 puppies on an armrest and 1 puppy in my lap... forget that whole riding in back crap they figured out how to climb over my barricade and were all about being in the front - preferably in the windshield.

I wish I could have gotten a picture of them. It was quite comical.

Never a dull moment here... will be posting more puppy pictures soon. They got to play in the snow last night for the first time. It was a riot!

Send Some Love Out

Since I am currently not focusing on myself right now - remember I'm an ostrich and my head is in the sand. I have nothing to report in regards to our not negative.

However there is a lot of anxiety and some sadness out in the blog world right now...

The first is Jill who just lost her dad as well as had a miscarriage with a d/c. Jill has been a great friend over the last year to me and provided me with a lot of support. I know she is hurting right now and she needs all of our love and prayers.

The second is Amy she's waiting patiently for another u/s and praying for things to work out. Her and I just started emailing and she's quite comical as well as honest.

The third is Mandy she's coping with being on her own for the first time while her husband C is jet setting in China and Taiwan... she is going through mommy boot camp the hard way with a baby in tow. She's surviving, but hopefully her mongrels will start behaving rather than driving her batty!

The fourth is a dear friend Joan who just recently lost her daughter Lisa. I have known Joan via an email list for about 10 years now. Joan is in her 70's and always has the best advice. Her daughter Lisa died in their home about a week ago. My heart goes out to her. Lisa didn't have an easy life and Joan and her hubby are devestated at her death. So while I can't send you to her website I can ask for you to keep them in your prayers.

Uhmm not much else to say... I go back to work on Thursday and while I'm not delighted to do so I do know that that will make the time go by quickly until Wednesday is here. Wednesday is going to be a long day for me as we have the appt for the u/s as well as Louie (aka Green) will be going to his new home that day. Friday - Emmy Lou (teal) will be going to her new home... Not sure when my fil will be picking up Jodi but I imagine it will be shortly. He's been itching to come and play with her and snuggle. She's a little love, but boy is she going to give him a run for his money. It'll be fun to watch! We still have yet to find homes for 3 of the pups... and while I know it is in our best interest to find homes for everyone, I am not stressing about that. With any luck someone will call me and say "I'd like a puppy here are my references" rather than the weird email I had to deal with from someone in CO who wanted me to ship a dog in winter. Yeah uhmm NO.

So for now Purple - (D has taken to calling him Bert), Black (I've taken to calling pistol), and Blue (we just call him Blue) are ours until they find homes... so my house while a bit quieter won't be empty for a bit. Unless of course things change again. Ultimately we shall see.

Something to make you smile!

So everyone has been asking for pictures and since well the other p word is off limits we now have puppy photos to help you pass the time from now until u/s day. To answer some questions I've been asked - yes still spotting. No, I don't have any symptoms. No, I haven't called for more bloodwork, though it has crossed my mind... why not right? It can't hurt and it might reassure me - yeah it won't so why bother is D's thoughts. He's probably right.


Now in other news we have decided that we need professional help, not only for fence building but also for our dogs. Oh that's right I mislead all of you into thinking that I have well behaved dogs in my house... yeah uhmm not so much. The thing that sealed the deal for me was my extreme anxiety at the thought of having Meg and Chance out together. Right now we can't allow that to happen. I can't handle the thought as I only just pieced my pup back together and while I love Meg I still have some anger issues with her and Chance. D starts cursing like a sailor when dealing with the dogs. What the hell kind of environment would we have if people came to visit??? A chaotic one, with lots of barking, lots of growling, lots of cursing, etc etc. So we have enlisted help and while it is a small fortune to pay I'm willing to pay it as I'd rather be the one in control of my dogs then them controlling me.

So next week Wednesday a gentleman and his wife will be coming to our house to help us work with our pack of dogs. Yes we now have a pack of dogs... they will be here for a few hours helping us. They will come back again in I think a week. It is going to cost a pretty penny, however we should see improvement in behaviors within 4-5 weeks. They will come back out if we have new problems or old problems. It does not involve any form of physical punishment. I'm anti-shock collars and well that scat strip we bought Lola sat on it and looked at me like why is my bum getting zapped. In other words it didn't phase her at all or keep her off the counter. So we shall see. D - aka scrooge was stunned silent when I told him the amount. He then wanted to skirt having to pay for Chance and I reminded him - HELLO he's one of the problems. So hopefully I will be able to sing this companies praises. Until I know for sure I'm going to keep quiet as to who I've hired.

It's a puppy pinwheel!



Puppies gone wild! Bad puppies - good taste in food, but bad puppies!


Jodi - isn't she lovely? Also a hellion...My FIL is so going to have his hands ful *evil laugh*



Ernie - he stole the puppy pacifier - yes they have a baby kong puppy pacifier the pups love it... apparently Ernie does as well. Silly boy. No we didn't pose him. That's just Ernie.

Well That's Interesting...

First off... regarding bleeding in pregnancy - while it can occur in a "normal" pregnancy it is never considered normal... which is why every doctor you talk to and say "I've got a positive hpt and I'm bleeding" immediately call for the beta hcg level to be drawn... it's not normal and I hope and pray that anyone reading my blog who somehow googled this and found me realize that it's not normal and it's quite frustrating and yes it can be nothing, but it can also be a sign of doom.

Now I know you all stopped by just to hear my results...

Monday's results were 84 at 14-15 dpo
Wednesday's results were 207 at 16-17 dpo...

So within the normal range and yes it doubled. This is good, however we again are not breaking out the champagne, calling our families etc... because read my about me page. We have an u/s scheduled for February 7th... we'll see what we can say about this then. Until then I get to shoot up progesterone and call if I have any "significant" bleeding... as the bleeding is just more like an occasional thing... still disconcerting. Still not "normal"

We shall see...

Normal...

for me of course...

I of course had a spotting episode last night while at work. A small amount or slight ooze that was dark and then old blood... This morning it was pretty much nonexistent - just some old stuff. So I freaked. I talked a resident into ordering a blood test for me as well as a progesterone level.

The results at 15 dpo (probably closer to 14 dpo as it was 2 a.m. when I did the blood test) were:

Beta HCG - 84
Progesterone - 35.8

So yeah uhmmm we'll repeat these on Wednesday and see what the heck is going on. No I'm not reassurred. The nurse from my RE's office of course was hopeful and while I think that's sweet I told her what D had said when I gave him the news of the bleeding...

D- "Well isn't that normal in pregnancy (meaning bleeding)?"
Sami - No!
D- "Well that's how we've started every other pregnancy."
Sami - "Thanks smart ass remind me why I love you?"
D- Because I can make you laugh.

She responded with things could still work out... She apparently has been sniffing "baby dust".

So will keep all of you posted... Whatever is going to happen will happen - the ball is already in play and we just have to wait it out. Sometimes I feel as if I'm on a rollercoaster... this is one of those times.

Head In The Sand

Sometimes I am an ostrich and stick my head in the sand. If you go here you'll see what I'm being an ostrich about. I've got my head firmly in the sand and truthfully I'm okay with being oblivious about this.

I am encouraged by the fact that these results showed up 2 days earlier than I've ever had in previous cycles, but we are not getting our hopes up. I know that sounds horribly pessimistic, but when you go back to my recap of 2006 you'll understand why. I have not had a blood test done and truthfully if I could avoid having one and having numbers to obsess about that truthfully don't mean squat in my eyes and in my heart. I've had good numbers and nothing... I've had bad numbers and nothing. We're waiting for that whole picture... the u/s that shows a heartbeat located in the uterus and we haven't had that yet.

So nothing bad has happened yet NBHHY - that's about as far as we've gotten in our thought processes. We shall see... wait and maybe we'll have news in 2.5 weeks... So no congratulations please.

So number 11 it is... hopefully this is my lucky number rather than 28.

*We'll do a beta sometime this coming week - I haven't decided when. All I can say is E*P*T was positive on Thursday, the digital was positive on Friday at 12 dpo... so who knows what will happen.

AaaaaChooo!!! Good Lord What Else Can Go Wrong?

Lets recap - we were guilted into going to the other side of the state for a memorial service with 10 dogs in a car. Yes... that did indeed happen. Damn I was hoping it was just a nightmare.

It all started by running late on Friday to the vet's. D started cursing - and well things went downhill from there. Thank goodness our vet is wonderful and it was not a problem for her that we were running late. I took Chance and Blue in with me to the vet leaving D with 3 dogs and 5 puppies in the car.

See Blue had started sneezing... wet sneezes... mind you the puppy has not been out of the house except to vet visits and has not been exposed to anyone or anybody so how the heck did he get a "cold" well he got it from his sister and he then proceeded to sneeze on every single one of his siblings... the little stinker. So... she quick looks Blue over and after a bit of talk a wet sneeze thrown in we decide we're just going to treat every single one of the little buggers so I can quit having to run up to get antibiotics. To be truthful I think the rest of the crew including Blue is just jealous because Emmy Lou (teal) is getting the pink stuff. I really need to take a picture of the little monsters at medicine time because seriously it's quite comical. The minute I go to the fridge they're all at my feet begging for the "pink" stuff. If only kids took medicine this easily.

Chance was seen as well and his wound was looked at by both vets and they both commented - it looks much better than it did. Yeah uhmm it does - however pus is "NOT GOOD!" They agreed, but kept reminding me how far it has come from when he first got injured, had the first surgery, then the second and then of course the third. We're trying to avoid anymore cutting action. So for now I flush and put some ointment in there and keep him on antibiotics.

So lets see - that's uhmm 7 dogs on antibiotics. Saturday night we noted that Lola was sneezing - we're hoping she'll get over it and realize she doesn't need the pink stuff.

In other news - we've lived in our house for roughly 2 years and have been neighbor free the entire time. That has unfortunately come to a screeching halt. If you hear wailing - that would be mine because of course the house next door to us is the one these people are living in now. Why???? Seriously why??? The house is on a big hill the driveway is a nightmare and they chose that house??? Stupid stupid people... so I'm currently researching fencing options as come spring - we'll be having one installed.

We learned of the new neighbors when we noted after driving in a sleet storm that there were 3 vehicles parked at that house... I believe D uttered some more profanities, but I could be wrong. I put on my "fake" face and hoped and prayed that it was just people working on the house... I was so very wrong and I hope my face didn't fall. I could be wrong of course though. I knew we should have just contacted the guy about buying it on a land contract... talk about ruining an already crappy day. Here's hoping these new neighbors are nice... because otherwise this could seriously suck even more than it does already...

No other news to report... the uhmm car ride was interesting... puppies started out in a big plastic container and slowly they came out one by one... until we decided to say screw the container and then it became a puppy free for all. I believe at one point on the ride home today we had a pup in D's lap, Chance at my feet on the floor with a nice pillow and blankie, a pup on the arm rest and 2 pups in my lap. The other 2 were in the back terrorizing Lola and Ernie who had decided he didn't want to be in the back with Meghan and came to the middle section of our vehicle. It was CRAZY!!! I told D his parents owe us big time. D agreed... so now we have to figure out how to wiggle out of a retirement party (as again how to avoid MIL's family? FIL's family is great - we'll spend a lot of time with them but the idiots on MIL's side well not so much!)... with any luck my MIL will plan it for Memorial Day weekend and I'm working that for sure so here's hoping.

To Insure or Not?

In answer to some of the delurking comments...

We have a Santa Fe... I love it and what will occur is Ernie and Meg will be in the back in their seat belts. Puppies will be in their box and Lola will be in her seat belt in the middle. Chance will be in the front with D & myself.

Yes - we are a bit nuts to do this... I'm not looking forward to the hassle, but know that we should to spend time with D's dad's family as they cope with the loss of his aunt.

In regards to pet insurance - about 6-7 years ago I had pet insurance and to be honest - it didn't save me any money. Now - it might, but it's unlikely. Our vet has a program that you can apply for that allows you to pay off your balance over 12 months and have 0% interest. We took advantage of that program to deal with Chance's vet costs. We'll probably do the same with the puppy vaccines as well as Meg's spay. Those things are all up for grabs.

Pet insurance would be fabulous if it worked like my old insurance rather than my new insurance. What happens is you pay up front then send in your reimbursement fomrs and they may or may not reimburse you for the exact amount. Not fun as my vet fees were generally more than their reasonable and customary. As Chance got older the premium increased. I paid a lot more for the insurance than I paid for the vet... so cost/benefit just wasn't there. Even now it wouldn't be there. To insure Chance who now is geriatric and would be considered high risk as he's got degenerative disk disease (which wasn't covered of course) would cost us more than what we've had to pay for his 3 surgeries and follow ups. So... right now it's just not worth it.

Hope that helps to explain things. My company does offer a discount, but truthfully it still wouldn't be worth it in the long run.

We're leaving in the morning (Friday) after another vet appointment. Chance's recheck was postponed until Friday as they were swamped. So Friday will be our day of travel.

Delurking Week? My other home...

Did you know it was delurking week? I had forgotten I admit, however now I've come out of the woodwork to all the blogs I read - at least most of those...

So if you're reading this - please post a comment so I know you're out there!

As for my other home... it's the vet's. With the addition of the puppies into this household I've managed to spend a LOT of time at the vet's office. While I love my vet I would like to see her a bit less frequently. Monday found D taking Chance in for a check up of his wounds... of course he's been switched to yet another antibiotic. Thursday I'll probably take him back to the vet's for another check and we'll see how this goes. One part of his wound is just not healing quite right. Such a pain. I'm sure it is for him as well.

Tuesday found me coming home from a very long night at work and thinking hmmm Emmy just isn't acting quite right -she's way too cuddly. D convinced me to just check when I got up and we'd go from there. Of course I got up late and well Emmy still wasn't acting right so fortunately D could take her to the vet. When you take one puppy to the vet though you take ALL puppies to the vet. So D had 6 6 week old puppies in the car in a box and he was driving in snow. Emmy had to have some antibiotics, fluids, and well is now on the road to recovery from a bug. How she got a bug NO one knows, but she did.

Oh yes and Sunday I gave too much wormer to one of the pups so I had to call the vet and find out if it was dangerous... then induce vomiting. Fun times here I tell ya.

Add in ovulation and attempting to procreate and now the addition of antibiotics for 2 dogs, PIO for me and boy let me tell you it is fun times at our house.

We of course have to leave today (Thursday) to go to my mom's (the other side of the state 3 hour drive) with 10 dogs (yes all are going) and go to a memorial service for D's aunt. We must be nuts...

Nothing to report here on the reproductive front... too early to tell I think I'm like 3-4 dpo. Something like that... will of course keep you posted.

Apparently My Recap was a bit...

Well depressing?

I had D look at my recap before posting it and he goes - hmm I think that about covers it. See - we look at the past year and shrug and go... okay move on... and for us still standing, still loving one another - that's the part that matters. A baby would be fabulous, but if we didn't have our love it wouldn't be worth it. Now... as I drink my sangria and try to tune out the puppy that is screaming like a banshee... Scratch that... as I hold two puppies and try to keep Lola from winding them up!

To answer some of the comments...

Thalia - I've been tested for all the clotting factors as well as the immunological factors and was negative. I do have idiopathic thrombocytopenia, but that just means I've got a ton of bruises because I'm still taking the baby aspirin just in case. I've always had awful bruising so the aspirin really hasn't affected that much.

Dino D - yep Chance is the geriatric dachshund and he's doing better finally... as for sanity - did I ever really have any?

DD - LOL yeah seeing it all laid out sucks but it's a new year and I don't have hives on my bum :D and I agree 2006 at the very least brought me closer to you as well as a lot of other bloggers... and maybe that's what I take from 2006 - some friends that truly understand and that's a good thing!

Oh in regards to the puppies... we have 3 that are spoken for and 3 still to find homes for... Green - is now Louie, Teal (light blue) - Emmy Lou, and then Red - aka runt will be going to my FIL who does not yet have a name picked out.

On the reproductive front we're in high mode on the monitor... I anticipate O sometime before the end of the week but heck who knows when. So whenever that peak occurs we'll then have to start the PIO after that... Maybe we'll start the year off right rather than the way we ended it?

A girl can dream right?

I Apparently Have A Second Home

Nope it's not my mom's house... it's the vet's. I found myself looking at Chance's (aka geriatric dachshund) wound on Sunday and Monday and going... hmmm rubbing my chin and then dragging him to brighter light. Asking D to take a look and watching D shrug his shoulders and go "you're the medical professional" gee thanks honey... He had some drainage - we knew he would. However there was a questionable area that we also weren't sure if it would be able to be closed and well that area was draining some fluid that could possibly be described as pus. So since D adamantly protested calling the vet - stating "I never tell her the right things" I made the call as I was driving to work. The vet and I talked - she's wonderful and stated "I thought about calling and seeing how he was doing as I was thinking of you guys..." I explained the situation and we decided he was good for the night, but that on Tuesday morning he would need to be seen.

So - Tuesday morning after working all night and D working all night - don't worry the puppies were fine - they were sleeping like lizards on the dog bed it was quite comical... I came home - let Meg, Ernie and Lola out. Coaxed Meg in to see the puppies - nurse for a bit and then that's when things started going wrong... I ran out to give Lola and Ernie some water - suddenly Meg is out and the puppies are out preparing to poop on my bedroom floor. Okay nursing is done... so I put Meg in her kennel, get the puppies back into their play yard and latch it with the caribeener. Get Lola back inside and hear Chance bellering... and I think a puppy as well.

I come to the bedroom and find - one puppy out... one puppy stuck and Chance is hollering because one of the puppies is hollering and he's worried about it. Don't worry the little houdinis were fine. I resecure the play yard and talk to the puppies explaining D will be back shortly and that they needed to lay their tookus's down and wait for him to come home to feed them a real meal. They all sat looking at me intently - I should have known better. However they are sweet and innocent looking.

D was approximately 10 minutes away... I grab Chance get him outside, pottied and into a lush box to carry him to the vet and again - check to make sure puppies are not out. Ernie and Lola are in their respective kennels... Off to the vet we go.

D and I talk on the phone I warn him that they are their mother's children and that they are escape artists and are capable of breaking and entering. D laughs as in "hahaha she's exaggerating" We get off the phone when he gets home and about two seconds later - I'm almost to the vet's my phone rings. Apparently 3 had managed to escape and the 4th had clogged the getaway route by getting hung up. So D came home to pooping and peeing puppies and well... they apparently were having a grand old time... I had to hang up - I was at the vet and then of course I was laughing as well because heck my morning hadn't gone all that well and at least he was cleaning things up!

So we wait a bit at the vet's. Chance now thinks he owns the joint and greets all the desk girls with barks of delight and wags of the tail. He also has become a bit barky when others enter the joint. We get in to see the vet and we learn Chance has lost a pound with his liposuction and belly lift (seriously my pooch had quite a bit of extra skin and it's highly likely that that's the case rather than a lack of appetite because he didn't miss that many meals.). He's a svelte 11.2 lbs. The wound while it doesn't look bad does have a pus pocket... the vet feels this should heal on it's own, and we changed antibiotics in the hopes of better coverage. In the meantime I get to clean Chance's wound and keep an eye on things. He may in the future due to the tightness of his belly lift (he lost quite a bit of skin) require more surgery to release the scar tissue but right now we're kind of in wait and see mode. He's happy as a clam - wants to play with the puppies - REALLY wants to play with the puppies - become all giddy just looking at them when they walk past his kennel... we're waiting until he's healed to allow that kind of behavior.

So yeah uhmm that's what's going on at my house. We're hoping to stay away from the vet's until he has to have the stitches out - but at least they're nice...