Saturday, August 26, 2006

Back In The Car

Late tonight/early tomorrow morning will find me picking D up from work... with three dogs strapped in their seat belts. The dogs of course are delighted at the prospect of visiting Grandma... Ernie's already acting like a raving idiot at the thought of seeing Grandma. (I swear he loses his mind when it comes to my mom... it's like any obedience lessons he's had are GONE)

We're headed there to a) bury the previously buried cat Belle (yes we brought gloves), b) teach my mom how to work her digital thermometer, change the filter on her furnace, and c) any other things she needs to learn how to do regarding her house that D has been taking care of for the last couple years.

On the one hand I'm excited to see my mom again and D's parents (though they will apparently be coming Labor Day Weekend for their vacation at our house) but the thought of making the drive which I haven't really had to do for the last two months really does not appeal to me at all.

D read my previous post and said - you know what... we did it. We made it in spite of all the odds - how many couples can say they lived apart and still communicated, stayed on the same page, didn't become bitter etc etc. I looked at him and said boy am I glad we are done with it though... and he agreed. However he also said - we would have done it for however long we needed to do it and I nodded at that point.

I'm very thankful that all of you were not offended by my previous post. I was frustrated a bit... I had had a "why me?" kind of day... it's hard not to be envious of others, it's damn hard not to be jealous of those with easy fertility and it's even harder to remind myself that it's not always about me and that my things in life are not wrapped up in other's things in life. But most days I remind myself gently that that is the case.

I'm trying not to say - oh it's the gonal-f that's making me all wonky... Unfortunately it's just me.

Eve - I agree that God helps those who help themselves... I also believe that he answers our prayers - maybe not in the way that we wanted him to or not even in the time frame that we want him to, but he answers them with our best interest at heart. I too wouldn't trade my life for someone else's... and it is frustrating because sometimes it would be so very easy to want someone else's life if only for a minute.

DD - Glad you strapped on the life jacket... I'll meet you at the surface.

Sometimes all you can do is dog paddle or dead man's float until you reach land... I think sometimes the best that we can do is just keep our head above water and pray for land. So I'm glad to know I'm not alone... because I think it's a heck of a lot easier to keep your head above water when you have friends cheering you on.


Jill said...

Yes, thank God we're not alone. It would be so much harder to cope with recurrent miscarriages without the support of bloggy friends who truly understand. I'm grateful for you and all the other women who share their experiences through writing.

Also, I'm so glad that you and D have such a strong marriage and are able to live together now. What a blessing.

Hope your visit with family goes well.

Mandy said...

I hope you can hear me cheering all the way from Idaho! And no matter what, we'll all pull through, one way or another. We just have to have faith in that.