Saturday, March 10, 2007


I know boring title, but it's the truth - yesterday I went shopping. Now the idea was that I was going to go to the ON outlet - I think all of you can figure out what ON is... big chain store - love their clothes. Well I did until I went to the retail store and saw that their prices had gone up and also that they would be closing their outlets. Now there outlets have been my haven - where I could find a bargain and get a number of items that I would be able to wear for quite a while. This news ticked both D and I off... to say we were upset was to put it mildly. D usually loves their jeans and instead he looked at them and said - We will most likely NOT be shopping here again. That was at the outlet after he heard the news. We found out that G and BR would not be affected by this switch to retail. We were relieved and went to the G outlet and had a blast - finding clothes we loved and that didn't break the bank. So much so that we took advantage of signing up for a G card which we've never done before to get the extra 15% off. Yes - I know we're such cheap skates. I don't care.

We also stopped at the baby G outlet store and while I cringed I was able to pick out a few things for a coworker who is due to have a baby soon. D on the other hand wanted to purchase a number of items for the "not negative" I caved and allowed that. I probably would have caved earlier if I could have gotten the stupid doppler I own to work and find a heartbeat - however all I can hear thus far is placenta and my heartbeat... To say I am less than thrilled and craving an u/s is to put it mildly.

On the ob front - my doctor's office called and rescheduled my appt... gee uhmm thanks. So instead of having an appt on Wednesday it is now not until the 22nd... and I'm supposed to not lose my mind until then. No we will not be discussing doppler usage with my ob... I'm already used to the sideways looks I get from him and really don't want to deal with raised eyebrows as if to say - "Are you really that paranoid?" The answer would obviously be yes I am and I don't care. Right now the only thing keeping me from callling the RE's office to say - Hey can I get another scan since my doc's a nimrod who is rescheduling me left and right is that I received a "congratulations" card in the mail... I'm thinking they washed their hands of me... bastards.

Fortunately by moving the appt to the 22nd - it allows for the nuchal to be done before the appt and hopefully that will mean there's a real live fetus in there - otherwise well we'll cross that bridge when we get there. D is all aboard this optimistic band wagon and while I'm trying I think he's going to have to carry the load for a little while. Which is fine - he's willing. He knows that I go back and forth from being hopeful to DBT's - he also knows I'm trying not to voice them to him because well hell I hate peeing on his parade. In the meantime we're doing okay. No I'm not depressed in fact far from it. I'm my normal - even keel self. For me joyful/excited occurs once we actually have a baby in our arms. Until then I'm going through the motions -allowing others to be "excited" and quite literally over the top "excited" while I stand back and watch. I'm a much better observer than doer - always have been.

For my wedding I truly didn't believe it was really happening until it happened. Same goes for a few other major life events... so this is my norm.

So for right now nothing to see here... we're quite boring in fact. Sometimes boring is good...

1 comment:

DD said...

I wouldn't call anyone who had a doppler paranoid after what you have been through to get to this point. *I* would get a doppler, too.

In fact, I keep wondering if I was to slip the one from my GYN's exam room into my purse, would anyone notice? You know, just in case I actually get to use it.