Monday, April 17, 2006

The Little Things

Super Freak... Super Freak... Get Super Freakie...

Is that how that song goes? I swear it's my life. Having sworn off hpt's until the day of the beta found me peeing on a stick this morning. Yep, there was a line... but boy was it faint. So in my mind I thought between 5-10. I was right. The beta was 5 at 13 dpo.

My RE's office called in the afternoon and they were less than pleased with those results as was I. We're calling it a negative. I told the nurse who was very nice and very helpful that we were not going to be doing an injectables cycle this month that we needed to take a break. She understood. I also told her I had better betas on an unmedicated cycle than this. She agreed after looking over my chart. Heck my beta on clomid was better than that. I'm tempted - way tempted to call and see if the RE will call and talk to me about maybe doing clomid. D is willing to do whatever I want to do. I'm not sure what I want.

I know we both want a baby. We want a healthy pregnancy and we don't want to lose our minds or our finances. We've jumped through the hoops and right now we're slightly spent. A part of me wants to just try it with extra progesterone and see what happens. It'd be something different. We haven't ever just tried that. We found out about the luteal phase defect and went to clomid. When the clomid and progesterone (wimpy suppository) went south we went to injectables and progesterone... well you've seen how well that has worked out haven't we? 5... my magic number has been 5. While the very nice RE nurse said I've never seen a 0 on the hcg tests... I had to break it to her that I have. That I have seen 3 and I've even seen 1... and once a long time ago I seen 0. So it's possible.

D was glad this wasn't a screw with you kind of thing like January's beta was... he's completely over those kind of days where you go is it an ectopic or isn't it. So I guess we have to be thankful for the little things... the little things are the 3 little dogs that are snoring next to me... my husband who just got ready to go to work... and the little things like toilets that flush...

Maybe I'll call the RE and see what he thinks... if he says well it can't hurt then we'll give it a shot... and if he says well I wouldn't do that I'll ask why. It's always nice to get a second opinion even if the first opinion is just your own.

Off to play with the dogs... we tivo'd The West Wing and I watched that so life is good. Sometimes it's the little things that remind you that life isn't as bad as you thought it was.


Marz said...

I'm sorry about your beta # :-(
I'm doing Clomid this month, I say go for it & we can be Clomid buddies.
Good luck, whichever way you decide to go.

Mandy said...

I'm hoping that things go better for you guys, au naturale. Seems to be working lately! ;) Sorry about the betas but you knew that sentiment already. Here's hoping for better luck and higher betas this next "go round". Love ya. Sending tons of hugs your way.

DinosaurD said...

What the heck???? What does your RE say about all these really low Betas (bordering on positives)? This sucks.
I know you're a long way from IVF (if ever) but isn't there something else they can do to try and help figure out what the heck is going on?
Nice going with keeping the sanity - don't think I would do so well.

Becky said...

Hi! I just found you! I too am married to a cop and I have 4 dogs. I am not a nurse though, I am a 911 dispatcher. I am glad to have found you, I am sorry about your beta results. Keep your spirits up, sometimes the journey sucks, but the destination is worth it!