Thursday, April 20, 2006

Definitely the Booby Prize...

Does anyone remember
  • this post
  • well go back and read it.

    Ahhh you're back now... so you may sense a touch of frustration. Do not get me wrong when I rant about this. I want very badly to be pregnant. Both D and I want that very badly. However we're also over being "teased". On Monday when i got the beta results of 5 I stopped progesterone as my doctor and the nurse both said this is so low there is no way that this is what we want it to be. So I waited... waited patiently for my period to show up. All I had to show for it was some wimpy brown cm and that was about it. So I did what any girl would do 3 days after a crappy beta... I took a digital test. It wasn't even an EPT digital. It was a clear blue digital and I took it this afternoon before my u/s appt. It came up "pregnant". Now if I hadn't been through this roller coaster multiple times I'd be thrilled.

    However one tends to become a bit cynical after this many failed attempts. So I showed D and he promptly called me a "tease" and then asked "So now what? Because we both know that that word doesn't mean squat." I shrugged grabbed my phone and dialed my RE's number. I of course did not get lucky enough to get the nurse who really seriously thought I was nuts. No, I got a medical assistant. She was very nice. After speaking with probably an IVF nurse she said well we'll cancel your u/s - if you heard the scream on that one then sorry that was me and we'd like you to get another beta, but we won't get the results till tomorrow.

    I went told D and he laughed and goes "wish you would have had that stupid test done on Wednesday huh?" Yes, yes, I'm kicking myself - get your butt in the car we've got labs to do.

    So I had a repeat beta done... and I had the results faxed to me. I like to know these things before the doctor's office calls me with crappy news. Right now we have a beta of 25 at 15-16 dpo. Yeah that's low. However I had a doubling time of 31 hours (actually probably 36 hours as I had it drawn later than the original beta). So uhmm not sure what this gets us.

    I do have some good news though... One of my dear dear friends that I've been in a buddy group for a while has just gotten her positive after IVF with ICSI. I'm thrilled for her. This is her first positive ever and boy are we excited for her.

    On an unrelated note... today was my Dad's birthday... I hope that that's a sign that this will all work out... however most special days in D and my life have not boded well for pregnancies so hopefully if anyone can pull this off it would be Dad.

    Oh yes and I'll let you all know how that phone call with the RE's office goes tomorrow... somehow I'm sure someone is going to say uhmm well... we need you to do more bloodwork... Ya think?


    Jill said...

    Oh, Sami, I understand your frustration. I understand why you might find it hard to be hopeful right now...but I am hoping like crazy for you. You are pregnant and I am fervently sending up big prayers that this one will work out for you.

    Mandy said...

    I'm hoping like crazy too. Know that I'm thinking of you and hoping for some definitive answers.

    Marz said...

    Oh Sami!!
    that's really great news. You know the other post where you said your beta was only 5, I kind of had a feeling that af wasn't going to show up but I didn't want to say anything to you to get your hopes up.
    I'm staying cautiously optimisting for you. Please keep us posted!

    Kath said...

    Dear Sami, this answer/non-answer must be endlessly frustrating for you. I am fervently hoping that things work out wonderfully for you.

    I'm so sorry I haven't been checking in lately -- I don't know where my mind has been.