Unfair

There are many things in this world that are unfair...

infertility is unfair...
cancer is unfair...
death is unfair...

When all three of those things occur to one person it is truly unfair. Jessica aka Cancer baby was affected by all three. My heart breaks for her family. I've read her blog off and on over the last year. Yet still I'm sitting here crying and left wanting to scream at the heavens "WHY?"

Please say a prayer for Jessica's friends and family as they try to cope with life without her.
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I spent this past evening visiting with C. C is D's cousin's widow... she's a wonderful woman and tomorrow she has to meet with some big mucky mucks about the loss of M (D's cousin). Whenever I'm with C I'm reminded of my faith. She's unintentionally made my faith in God stronger... reminded me of it and encouraged me. Even in the face of all she's lost she still has this tremendous faith that it was God's will. We spent the afternoon crying. We were talking about how to quantify this loss... she thinks the saddest thing of all is that she will never be that naive again to think that everything will work out... that she would grow old with the love of her life... that her girls would have such a wonderful role model. That no amount of money will ever replace M - that he was and is irreplaceable to her and their children. That the only thing that brings her comfort is that the together forever they dreamed about is still possible, just not on earth but in heaven. It broke my heart and made me think of what I do have...

I'm lucky because... I have my husband and he's alive. Neither of us has cancer (that we know of)... yes we have early checkout as a fertility problem, but seriously if that's as bad as it gets then we're doing fine. I'm not making light of cancer or of Jessica's death, M's death or infertility. I'm saying that I need to recognize on a daily basis just how good I really do have it. I don't do that all the time and today more than most reminded me of why I need to.

So in closing... Go... be with the ones you love... let them know that you love them... Live today as if it was your last because unfortunately sometimes... life truly is unfair.