Wednesday, July 12, 2006

Too Many Options... TMI just to forewarn ya!

Now why do I feel like a two year old stealing candy when I go into a store to buy condoms. Why does my husband get a kick out of the fact that a local grocery store sells lube and a vibrating ring - yes it had a vibrating ring that it sold, but NO condoms...

I didn't ask the sales people if they sold condoms, at that point I figured if they did they'd all be past their expiration date as the stuff that was on the shelf well it had a film of dust on it. D thought this was hillarious. I on the other hand not so much. I then pointed out the pitfalls of expired condoms and he went yeah that would be bad.

Seeing as we don't want to have to go back to Dr. SA and say yep we screwed up AGAIN... we went to another store... or lets be specific. I went to another store in another city because apparently our local store is of the "abstinence is best" idea... and well... we're not taking that chance.

I think the look on the people watching me try to decide which condoms I was going to buy were probably wondering why I was laughing at the titles. Tropical flavors? Gee thanks, but no. They also were in coordinating colors... they even had glow in the dark ones. I was just looking for your standard - lets not get pregnant one. Apparently things have come a long way since I bought condoms... They should have had a pamphlet nearby to tell a girl which one would do the trick rather than those vague titles... "for his pleasure." Yeah I didn't buy that one.... "for her pleasure" nope didn't' buy that one... why don't they have one that says "to not knock her up." That's the one we need. No wonder the teenagers look all confused about sex... with this many choices I'd be confused. Maybe I should have just gone to the family planning clinic. That might have been interesting. Okay it really would have been interesting, but all I'd be asking for is the sample of condoms please.

So hopefully my condom odossey will hopefully be done soon... Seriously soon. I'd like to get the proverbial show on the road.

5 comments:

Maribeth said...

After 18 years of marriage and having had a hysterectomy, I haven't had to think about condoms since the beginning of time! So I am sitting here laughing like crazy!

DD said...

I wonder if they make a variety pack. If you're going to have to use them, you may as well be able to advise your friends on what kinds you liked best.

Mandy said...

LMAO! I remember this situation all too well -- happened to us after my d&c last year. C thought it was hilarious and kept cracking jokes. I felt like a teenager. Embarrassed to be there. I made him pay for them!

Definitely seems like a lot more choices than when I was buying them on a "regular" basis...

Lorem ipsum said...

I got sick on my honeymoon and had to take antibiotics, and of course that meant condoms. We went from store to store looking for them. It would have been hilarious had my throat not been swollen the size of a Chicago softball.

Jill said...

This post made me laugh. My husband and I both still feel sheepish about buying condoms (I am always SURE that I'm going to run into someone from work at the checkout counter), so he orders them from drugstore.com. The only problem is they come packed in a larger cardboard box that gets left on our front porch, and once the box was stolen before we got home from work and picked it up! We always wondered who was having fun with our condoms.