Well so far I haven't seen an infestation of locusts so we must be doing something right.
The next two nights will suck... I had a class this morning and will be working tonight. I will also be working tonight. I'm doing tonight so that I don't have to work Friday... I know paranoid, but truthfully even with good news on Friday it would stink to work all night Thursday night have my appointment in the morning (I think that's when it is) and then have to drive home get enough sleep to be able to function at work on Friday. So a kind person switched with me.
My mother will be going to the visitation and funeral for my aunt and giving my condolences to my Uncle Howard. I'm going to make arrangements to see him within the next few weeks. I assume he'll be living with my cousin as truthfully I wouldn't want someone that was 95 living alone anymore - but call me crazy. My mom will then also be coming up to babysit the puppies while we work.
Trying to reign in my mom is like well trying to wrestle with a wet noodle. She hasn't quite figured out that the more she talks about things that the more withdrawn I get. We're going to have to have a talk this weekend about that. Low key is what I'm going for right now... mellow is another way to look at it.
Ultimately we're taking one day at a time and hoping for the best... isn't that really all that you can do?
Wednesday, February 28, 2007
Tuesday, February 27, 2007
I thought there would be more time
I know I know - she was 87, but seriously I thought there would be more time.
The "she" I'm referring to was my Great Aunt Alice... I just called her Aunt Alice - her and Uncle Howard always called me "Toots." I reminded them of one of their daughters who had died in her 20's. Uncle Howard is my grandmother's youngest brother and he and my dad were close. Growing up we always spent some time with them. They were at all of my big events... At my wedding Uncle Howard got all teary eyed and said "Sammy would have been so happy to be here." Sammy being my dad... Aunt Alice and Uncle Howard adored my dad and he felt the same about them. Uncle Howard was my token stand in for my dad. Another uncle walked me down the aisle, but truthfully Uncle Howard and Aunt Alice were the connection for me to feel as if my dad was at my wedding.
Aunt Alice had a very distinct voice and I can't quite imitate it, but it always sounded as if she was sucking on something while she was talking it was a little bird like and she pursed her lips. D got a kick out of her the first time he met her and she loved him (my husband has that effect on people apparently).
I know old age is not a bad thing, but it sucks when it takes your family and for me - my dad's side of the family keeps dwindling smaller and smaller... D and I plan on visiting Uncle Howard soon... he turns 95 on Wednesday (actually on 2/29, but ya know how that goes). The last time he and I saw one another he kept telling me about his bad ticker... Aunt Alice told me about hers as well... for such a small lady she had a very big heart. She will be greatly missed. The world feels just a bit smaller than it did before...
Although I have a feeling she's up in heaven - barking orders and giving my dad a very stern talking to about leaving this earth so soon and the reunion with her daughter Donna Marie I'm sure was very sweet...
Below is a picture of Aunt Alice and Uncle Howard at our wedding... it almost looks as if they're pulling each of us closer to the two of them. Their hugs were ferocious and boy am I going to miss those hugs.
The "she" I'm referring to was my Great Aunt Alice... I just called her Aunt Alice - her and Uncle Howard always called me "Toots." I reminded them of one of their daughters who had died in her 20's. Uncle Howard is my grandmother's youngest brother and he and my dad were close. Growing up we always spent some time with them. They were at all of my big events... At my wedding Uncle Howard got all teary eyed and said "Sammy would have been so happy to be here." Sammy being my dad... Aunt Alice and Uncle Howard adored my dad and he felt the same about them. Uncle Howard was my token stand in for my dad. Another uncle walked me down the aisle, but truthfully Uncle Howard and Aunt Alice were the connection for me to feel as if my dad was at my wedding.
Aunt Alice had a very distinct voice and I can't quite imitate it, but it always sounded as if she was sucking on something while she was talking it was a little bird like and she pursed her lips. D got a kick out of her the first time he met her and she loved him (my husband has that effect on people apparently).
I know old age is not a bad thing, but it sucks when it takes your family and for me - my dad's side of the family keeps dwindling smaller and smaller... D and I plan on visiting Uncle Howard soon... he turns 95 on Wednesday (actually on 2/29, but ya know how that goes). The last time he and I saw one another he kept telling me about his bad ticker... Aunt Alice told me about hers as well... for such a small lady she had a very big heart. She will be greatly missed. The world feels just a bit smaller than it did before...
Although I have a feeling she's up in heaven - barking orders and giving my dad a very stern talking to about leaving this earth so soon and the reunion with her daughter Donna Marie I'm sure was very sweet...
Below is a picture of Aunt Alice and Uncle Howard at our wedding... it almost looks as if they're pulling each of us closer to the two of them. Their hugs were ferocious and boy am I going to miss those hugs.
Saturday, February 24, 2007
Plague... Pestulance...
Bring on the locusts... isn't that what is supposed to follow plague and pestulance?
I could be wrong, however if you would have asked me on Thursday I would have said I really don't care anymore. Wednesday I didn't feel all that great, but I figured it was due to coming off of a work stretch. Thursday sucked in that I felt awful and couldn't keep anything down. Now I know some of you are laughing and going - hahaha she finally got hit with morning sickness. Yeah uhmm no. Morning sickness doesn't bring along with it another GI symptom which I had as well.
My "aha" moment was after the first episode when I thought to myself - that little shit I cleaned up the other night after he'd decorated the floor from his crib must have caused this. My mother - who D talked to - of course was all for it being morning sickness. Come Friday I can tell you safely - it was not morning sickness, but an intestinal/GI tract bug that put a curse on me for the better part of 24 hours. It made me weak as a kitten and begging for mercy. Of course Thursday not to be outdone with the better part of the plague - I also had bright red bleeding which resulted in a scan on Friday.
Things are fine - arm buds and leg buds present, measuring right on and heartbeat still there. D thinks I brought on the plague just to get the scan... and he'd be wrong. By the time the scan was done I wanted to take a nap. Of course we also had to deal with Lola who was also puking up a storm like me. Lola went to the vet while I slept in the car and D called work to tell them he wouldn't be in as he had to take care of me.
Friday night I slept and I'm only just now waking up and while I'm probably 50% better than I was, I'm still not 100%... here's hoping the puppies will sleep tonight.
So uhmm what's next? Apparently the RE's office will release me after my next scan which will be on 3/2. They keep those of us with recurrent loss longer than they do their regular ole ART cases... risk wise we're down from a high of 80% chance of loss to about 15% now... and that's comforting. Most people it would 3-5% but with recurrent loss you have to multiply it by 4-5% more so that's where you get that number. So that's where we stand. I'm still not in that 100% believing this might actually work out... maybe next week.
I could be wrong, however if you would have asked me on Thursday I would have said I really don't care anymore. Wednesday I didn't feel all that great, but I figured it was due to coming off of a work stretch. Thursday sucked in that I felt awful and couldn't keep anything down. Now I know some of you are laughing and going - hahaha she finally got hit with morning sickness. Yeah uhmm no. Morning sickness doesn't bring along with it another GI symptom which I had as well.
My "aha" moment was after the first episode when I thought to myself - that little shit I cleaned up the other night after he'd decorated the floor from his crib must have caused this. My mother - who D talked to - of course was all for it being morning sickness. Come Friday I can tell you safely - it was not morning sickness, but an intestinal/GI tract bug that put a curse on me for the better part of 24 hours. It made me weak as a kitten and begging for mercy. Of course Thursday not to be outdone with the better part of the plague - I also had bright red bleeding which resulted in a scan on Friday.
Things are fine - arm buds and leg buds present, measuring right on and heartbeat still there. D thinks I brought on the plague just to get the scan... and he'd be wrong. By the time the scan was done I wanted to take a nap. Of course we also had to deal with Lola who was also puking up a storm like me. Lola went to the vet while I slept in the car and D called work to tell them he wouldn't be in as he had to take care of me.
Friday night I slept and I'm only just now waking up and while I'm probably 50% better than I was, I'm still not 100%... here's hoping the puppies will sleep tonight.
So uhmm what's next? Apparently the RE's office will release me after my next scan which will be on 3/2. They keep those of us with recurrent loss longer than they do their regular ole ART cases... risk wise we're down from a high of 80% chance of loss to about 15% now... and that's comforting. Most people it would 3-5% but with recurrent loss you have to multiply it by 4-5% more so that's where you get that number. So that's where we stand. I'm still not in that 100% believing this might actually work out... maybe next week.
Thursday, February 22, 2007
I Try Not To Go For The Shock Factor - However...
I'm out of the closet so to speak... I let a few coworkers know that we are currently gestating... and they were very happy for us. I explained how our anxiety level was and they nodded as if they understood. They also pointed out that it's encouraging that we got this far... and I nodded. Another coworker came by while we were talking about this and goes "Why aren't you ecstatic?" I took a moment and said - it's not that we're not happy we are... it's that we feel as if we're waiting for the other shoe to drop. When you've been pregnant 11 times and still have no children well... you just tend to protect your heart. This coworker who I value as a friend and a great nurse and example of pediatric nursing - she just looked at me and goes "that's just tragic." I just shrugged... What do you say other than yeah it sucks...
D and I talked about this on our way home from the RE's office and his response was - "Apparently they don't know your family history of losses." Succinct and to the point... got to love it. It's true - my coworkers know of my losses - but they really don't know about my family loss history. If you combine my mother's loss history, my sister's, my aunts, and mine it would be well over 20 losses. That's a lot of loss to know about... and grow up knowing about. Mind you D didn't grow up hearing about these losses, but he did once he and I started trying because my mother, aunt, and sister all felt that it was better for us to know then to not know. Be prepared is apparently our family motto and truthfully I'm glad that they never hid these things from me because to me knowledge is power. The losses for the women in my family ranged from early miscarriage to late first trimester to second trimester and a third trimester loss. Knowing that means that we tend to be a little more guarded. Maybe it's wrong, but it's the best we can do to cope with everything... and considering what we've been through - we're very lucky to have a healthy marriage where communication is key.
I'm glad that my RE understands even if he had the audacity to put on my chart "pt and spouse reassurred." I had to laugh because Dr. Sarcastic doesn't do reassurring very well. He's realistic and that helps both D and I because we both feel better with facts. Dr. Sarcastic asked if I had googled measurements for CRL already and I nodded then told him that it was quite frustrating as there was a big discrepancy on all the crap I found online so everything from a weird equation that you punch in to a simple equation gave you different numbers every time. We talked science for a while and he said - does the googling help? I responded with yes it does, D even nodded that it did. He just encouraged us to look at scientific sources for knowledge and I reassurred him that that was what I did rather than other sites. I have to have concrete stuff rather than personal stories - no offense to anyone's personal story, but I want facts that have been researched.
D and I talked about this on our way home from the RE's office and his response was - "Apparently they don't know your family history of losses." Succinct and to the point... got to love it. It's true - my coworkers know of my losses - but they really don't know about my family loss history. If you combine my mother's loss history, my sister's, my aunts, and mine it would be well over 20 losses. That's a lot of loss to know about... and grow up knowing about. Mind you D didn't grow up hearing about these losses, but he did once he and I started trying because my mother, aunt, and sister all felt that it was better for us to know then to not know. Be prepared is apparently our family motto and truthfully I'm glad that they never hid these things from me because to me knowledge is power. The losses for the women in my family ranged from early miscarriage to late first trimester to second trimester and a third trimester loss. Knowing that means that we tend to be a little more guarded. Maybe it's wrong, but it's the best we can do to cope with everything... and considering what we've been through - we're very lucky to have a healthy marriage where communication is key.
I'm glad that my RE understands even if he had the audacity to put on my chart "pt and spouse reassurred." I had to laugh because Dr. Sarcastic doesn't do reassurring very well. He's realistic and that helps both D and I because we both feel better with facts. Dr. Sarcastic asked if I had googled measurements for CRL already and I nodded then told him that it was quite frustrating as there was a big discrepancy on all the crap I found online so everything from a weird equation that you punch in to a simple equation gave you different numbers every time. We talked science for a while and he said - does the googling help? I responded with yes it does, D even nodded that it did. He just encouraged us to look at scientific sources for knowledge and I reassurred him that that was what I did rather than other sites. I have to have concrete stuff rather than personal stories - no offense to anyone's personal story, but I want facts that have been researched.
Friday, February 16, 2007
So Far So Good
U/S was fine - heartbeat check and assumed appropriate growth as the "not negative" was apparently curled up today rather than stretched out so he couldn't get an accurate measurement. We see them again in 2 weeks for another u/s.
So that's my scoop so to speak. We told Dr. Y about our fiasco at the ob's office and he laughed when D asked - can we just stick with you guys for the whole pregnancy? He goes yeah you don't want to do that - you'd have to deliver with a c-section I don't think I'd know how to do a vaginal delivery anymore.
So that's where we're at... so far so good.
So that's my scoop so to speak. We told Dr. Y about our fiasco at the ob's office and he laughed when D asked - can we just stick with you guys for the whole pregnancy? He goes yeah you don't want to do that - you'd have to deliver with a c-section I don't think I'd know how to do a vaginal delivery anymore.
So that's where we're at... so far so good.
Thursday, February 15, 2007
Snowdrifts and Stupid People
My apologies I had every intention of updating yesterday however when you hear how yesterday and the day before went you'll understand I chose sleep over blogging.
Tuesday night I had to work... and of course there was a winter storm warning out for blowing snow and just well crappy weather. I left early with the knowledge I would need to drive carefully. Enroute I was talking with a friend on speaker phone and hung up on her as the roads had gotten worse. I seen a snow drift coming up ahead - slowed down and then the damn thing pulled me into a ditch then a tree. No amount of all wheel drive was able to save me from doing so. My friend was freaking out and attempting to call D as she had no idea how bad the accident was - she was also yelling at her husband because - well he was the reason for the phone call - he'd been a jack ass. I spoke with 911 - gave them my location assured them I was unhurt, just shook up and then finally hung up. I then called D - let him know what was going on and to call work and let them know I wouldn't be in. I then paged the on call RE to find out what I needed to worry about. On call RE wanted me to come in Wednesday morning for a scan and rho gam as D is + and I am -.
The deputy arrived and took one look at the situation and said - let me guess the snow drift pulled you in here? I have county coming right now to knock that down. In my defense it took the county six passes to get rid of the snow drift. The tow truck came and we were able to determine my car though banged up was still driveable - which was a good thing as D was stuck in our driveway unable to get out until our snow plow guy came through. I updated work, updated my friend - reassured her it wasn't her fault, I was on my way again. I picked up a pizza on the way home and came home, went to bed.
Wednesday morning dawned bright and early and we were off to get D's hair cut as well as to go to the RE and of course lets not forget my annual was scheduled for the afternoon. Fun day let me tell you. I was able to get my unibrow waxed so that was good. At the RE's office we got the cool machine and I got the other doc who is very nice as well and no resident. All looks fine - CRL is 1.11 cm up from .3 cm and heartbeat is 141 ish. We were able to hear as well as see the heartbeat which was very cool. I asked D if he seen it and he goes yeah and I heard it. The doctor had to leave so the nurses in the back were working on the rho gam prescription.
This is where the day begins to show just how many stupid people S and D can run into... the one nurse (not the MA who had been in the room) wasn't sure why I needed it since the pregnancy looked good. I explained - car accident multiple times and spotting multiple times with I swear no comprehension of what I was saying. D wanted to poke her eyes out. Finally we get the prescription and we were off to fart around for a while.
We finally headed up to my annual appointment and that is where it became stupid people galore. First - I had called and talked with the scheduler explained our situation - that we were seeing an RE, that we had a history of multiple miscarriages and that we were no where near ready to be an "OB" patient yet as this pregnancy is still precarious enough that we're still having multiple scans. No problem she said. Get back and start talking to my doctor's nurse and "problem" came up. Apparently I needed to fill out a different form - great. So off we start filling forms I start peeing and well it just keeps getting better and better. I again explain to the nurse we're no where near ready to start talking due dates and grudgingly give her mine. Into the room we go and in comes the doctor - a congratulations comes out of his mouth - D and I cringe and then he starts going over my history and goes my you have been busy this year - did they ever determine a cause for the multiple miscarriages. I explained no that it could be the luteal phase defect or it could be ectopics that are just resolving on their own. He looks at the u/s and says all looks well and that he's sorry to hear about the spotting - maybe he can determine what's going on. Pelvic is done - all is fine - no clue where the spotting is coming from. Not once does he say that spotting is normal and then he wants to talk bloodwork while I want to talk drugs. Since I'm there for my annual I need refills on all my regular stuff. He looks at me sideways a few times and gives over what I want. Although I'm sure he's not thrilled about my sinus medication I can safely say he wouldn't be thrilled with treating me for multiple sinus infections either. He lectured me on my calcium requirements and told me to start taking some. Fine yada yada yada. Off we go to get the blood drawn and check out.
Check out is where it became stupid people galore. I had to schedule an appt for 4 weeks out with an appt with the doctor as well as the OB educator. I cringed at doing this... I mean seriously cringed. My anxiety level was becoming increasingly high as was D's. I think we both started twitching. Finally I grudgingly accepted an appt with the stupid educator (who goes over testing options) when I said I want the nuchal and quad screen she goes oh you're already up to speed on the testing. DUH - yes I am. Apparently the only way you get to schedule the test is if you talk to the educator. Great just great... so that's for next Friday where I'll probably end up losing my mind and become slightly more insane as we schedule things that I am no where near ready to talk about. We then proceeded to the place where you truly check out and they said "have you received your purple packet?" Uhmm no and what the hell is a purple packet? Oh you need to go talk to the insurance people... D and I looked at each other and said in unison "WE are not there yet." Yeah uhmm you need to talk to them and then we can check you out. Fine... grudgingly I go and sit in a room and the woman looks at my double coverage and gets a perplexed look on her face and goes hmmm... apparently they have no idea how my insurance works yet since I have two however I apparently don't need to start prepaying anything. Yet. She hands me the purple packet and starts going over the things in it. At the beginning she starts talking about pre registration at the hospital and at that point I tune out. I just smile and nod. Because again I had said "WE ARE NOT THERE YET." not a single person listened to this statement. Finally we are able to leave.
We still had one more place to go to get the rho gam. The med center... and of course the MA screwed up the prescription for it. So I had to page the doctor who took a while to call back after repaging and finding out that he was out with his kids on the back of a sled we get that straightened around. I ran into a few of the people I used to work with and that was neat - they all gave me congratulations and were genuinely thrilled for me. It was nice. Also overwhelming hearing those things.
By this time it's 8:30 pm and we finally arrived home. After starting the morning off at 9a.m. I came home and crashed. Tonight I work again then tomorrow another scan. So we shall see...
Tuesday night I had to work... and of course there was a winter storm warning out for blowing snow and just well crappy weather. I left early with the knowledge I would need to drive carefully. Enroute I was talking with a friend on speaker phone and hung up on her as the roads had gotten worse. I seen a snow drift coming up ahead - slowed down and then the damn thing pulled me into a ditch then a tree. No amount of all wheel drive was able to save me from doing so. My friend was freaking out and attempting to call D as she had no idea how bad the accident was - she was also yelling at her husband because - well he was the reason for the phone call - he'd been a jack ass. I spoke with 911 - gave them my location assured them I was unhurt, just shook up and then finally hung up. I then called D - let him know what was going on and to call work and let them know I wouldn't be in. I then paged the on call RE to find out what I needed to worry about. On call RE wanted me to come in Wednesday morning for a scan and rho gam as D is + and I am -.
The deputy arrived and took one look at the situation and said - let me guess the snow drift pulled you in here? I have county coming right now to knock that down. In my defense it took the county six passes to get rid of the snow drift. The tow truck came and we were able to determine my car though banged up was still driveable - which was a good thing as D was stuck in our driveway unable to get out until our snow plow guy came through. I updated work, updated my friend - reassured her it wasn't her fault, I was on my way again. I picked up a pizza on the way home and came home, went to bed.
Wednesday morning dawned bright and early and we were off to get D's hair cut as well as to go to the RE and of course lets not forget my annual was scheduled for the afternoon. Fun day let me tell you. I was able to get my unibrow waxed so that was good. At the RE's office we got the cool machine and I got the other doc who is very nice as well and no resident. All looks fine - CRL is 1.11 cm up from .3 cm and heartbeat is 141 ish. We were able to hear as well as see the heartbeat which was very cool. I asked D if he seen it and he goes yeah and I heard it. The doctor had to leave so the nurses in the back were working on the rho gam prescription.
This is where the day begins to show just how many stupid people S and D can run into... the one nurse (not the MA who had been in the room) wasn't sure why I needed it since the pregnancy looked good. I explained - car accident multiple times and spotting multiple times with I swear no comprehension of what I was saying. D wanted to poke her eyes out. Finally we get the prescription and we were off to fart around for a while.
We finally headed up to my annual appointment and that is where it became stupid people galore. First - I had called and talked with the scheduler explained our situation - that we were seeing an RE, that we had a history of multiple miscarriages and that we were no where near ready to be an "OB" patient yet as this pregnancy is still precarious enough that we're still having multiple scans. No problem she said. Get back and start talking to my doctor's nurse and "problem" came up. Apparently I needed to fill out a different form - great. So off we start filling forms I start peeing and well it just keeps getting better and better. I again explain to the nurse we're no where near ready to start talking due dates and grudgingly give her mine. Into the room we go and in comes the doctor - a congratulations comes out of his mouth - D and I cringe and then he starts going over my history and goes my you have been busy this year - did they ever determine a cause for the multiple miscarriages. I explained no that it could be the luteal phase defect or it could be ectopics that are just resolving on their own. He looks at the u/s and says all looks well and that he's sorry to hear about the spotting - maybe he can determine what's going on. Pelvic is done - all is fine - no clue where the spotting is coming from. Not once does he say that spotting is normal and then he wants to talk bloodwork while I want to talk drugs. Since I'm there for my annual I need refills on all my regular stuff. He looks at me sideways a few times and gives over what I want. Although I'm sure he's not thrilled about my sinus medication I can safely say he wouldn't be thrilled with treating me for multiple sinus infections either. He lectured me on my calcium requirements and told me to start taking some. Fine yada yada yada. Off we go to get the blood drawn and check out.
Check out is where it became stupid people galore. I had to schedule an appt for 4 weeks out with an appt with the doctor as well as the OB educator. I cringed at doing this... I mean seriously cringed. My anxiety level was becoming increasingly high as was D's. I think we both started twitching. Finally I grudgingly accepted an appt with the stupid educator (who goes over testing options) when I said I want the nuchal and quad screen she goes oh you're already up to speed on the testing. DUH - yes I am. Apparently the only way you get to schedule the test is if you talk to the educator. Great just great... so that's for next Friday where I'll probably end up losing my mind and become slightly more insane as we schedule things that I am no where near ready to talk about. We then proceeded to the place where you truly check out and they said "have you received your purple packet?" Uhmm no and what the hell is a purple packet? Oh you need to go talk to the insurance people... D and I looked at each other and said in unison "WE are not there yet." Yeah uhmm you need to talk to them and then we can check you out. Fine... grudgingly I go and sit in a room and the woman looks at my double coverage and gets a perplexed look on her face and goes hmmm... apparently they have no idea how my insurance works yet since I have two however I apparently don't need to start prepaying anything. Yet. She hands me the purple packet and starts going over the things in it. At the beginning she starts talking about pre registration at the hospital and at that point I tune out. I just smile and nod. Because again I had said "WE ARE NOT THERE YET." not a single person listened to this statement. Finally we are able to leave.
We still had one more place to go to get the rho gam. The med center... and of course the MA screwed up the prescription for it. So I had to page the doctor who took a while to call back after repaging and finding out that he was out with his kids on the back of a sled we get that straightened around. I ran into a few of the people I used to work with and that was neat - they all gave me congratulations and were genuinely thrilled for me. It was nice. Also overwhelming hearing those things.
By this time it's 8:30 pm and we finally arrived home. After starting the morning off at 9a.m. I came home and crashed. Tonight I work again then tomorrow another scan. So we shall see...
Saturday, February 10, 2007
Exaggerated
I may have exaggerated my feelings a bit yesterday. I re-read what I wrote and thought - god she's a neurotic self absorbed snot. In truth while we are worried/concerned/anxious about this whatever you want to call it... we generally go about our daily lives as if nothing is going on.
I had a friend call the other day and things were a bit nuts at our house at the time and she is aware of what's going on and said "S you need to relax right now." I started laughing almost hysterically and then handed the phone to D... he then started laughing as well. I got back on the phone and told her that whether I'm relaxed or tense or even catatonic - whatever will happen will happen. That the ball is already in play, that the ship has already sailed, that the rollercoaster is already going, that the bullet will either hit the target or not. She didn't quite understand all the little things, but I think she finally understands. There's not a bit that I can do other than what I am doing. Which what I'm doing involves daily shots of PIO, baby aspirin and a prenatal vitamin so there ya go...
If we didn't have that and I wasn't abstaining from alcohol and s*x it'd be just a regular time in our lives. Those are about the only things that have been cut out so to speak. Alcohol for obvious reasons ans s*x because well of that darn thing called spot. D doesn't want to sound like an ungrateful snot and ask the RE if we can - the nurse told me that we couldn't - D didn't get to hear those words so hence why he's hesistant to ask and keeps asking if the spotting is done... I had to remind him of the instructions after the D & C and then he wanted the scientific reasons why you're not supposed to. I was trying to sleep at that point and I believe I rolled over and hit him and said he could google it later.
I know there is such romantic love in our household if it's not us yelling "Bah" and throwing things at the dogs (not hitting them with it just landing near them) or squirting a squirt bottle at the puppies then it's a discussion on why you can or can't have s*x. Fun times.
In a side note - We live alone... and our shades are always closed. This weekend my mom is visiting and D almost walked out into the living room naked with her here - he was trying to find some clean jeans (located in the dryer)... If he hadn't heard her talking to the dogs she would have gotten a full frontal of D. I about peed my pants when he came running into the bathroom and told me what had almost occurred. Fortunately my mom was spared the image and D was spared the mortification. I think his heart rate is finally returning to normal now.
In other news - my mom has been here and you have to love a woman who will clean your entire house and fold your laundry... and while she makes Ernie act like an idiot she loves all our dogs though she is calling the puppies by the wrong names - this isn't unusual.
My husband has a list of things he wants... s*x is on that list, but there are other things baby is on the list, but again not the things I'm talking about... he wants - a fenced in back yard, new doors and windows- don't ask he hates ours - they work in my mind, a hair cut - heck I want that one too he's starting to look way too shaggy, a new vehicle - NOT happening, another gun (NOT happening, and I'm sure there's more I could add to the list - probably landscaping, someone else to paint the house and patch holes, and well ya know just about everything else under the sun. Yet I am the one accused of having expensive tastes. Yeah uhmm not. I'm the one who has been reigning D in... reminding him how much money we have, that if we do indeed make it to take home baby that we need to have x saved so that we can survive while I'm on maternity leave, that we have to do this that and the other thing... such a pain.
I truly hate being the voice of reason. It's just not my favorite thing to do... especially when all I want to do is spend spend spend.
Ah well what you going to do... apparently just continue putting one foot in front of the other and hope that I don't run into anything.
I had a friend call the other day and things were a bit nuts at our house at the time and she is aware of what's going on and said "S you need to relax right now." I started laughing almost hysterically and then handed the phone to D... he then started laughing as well. I got back on the phone and told her that whether I'm relaxed or tense or even catatonic - whatever will happen will happen. That the ball is already in play, that the ship has already sailed, that the rollercoaster is already going, that the bullet will either hit the target or not. She didn't quite understand all the little things, but I think she finally understands. There's not a bit that I can do other than what I am doing. Which what I'm doing involves daily shots of PIO, baby aspirin and a prenatal vitamin so there ya go...
If we didn't have that and I wasn't abstaining from alcohol and s*x it'd be just a regular time in our lives. Those are about the only things that have been cut out so to speak. Alcohol for obvious reasons ans s*x because well of that darn thing called spot. D doesn't want to sound like an ungrateful snot and ask the RE if we can - the nurse told me that we couldn't - D didn't get to hear those words so hence why he's hesistant to ask and keeps asking if the spotting is done... I had to remind him of the instructions after the D & C and then he wanted the scientific reasons why you're not supposed to. I was trying to sleep at that point and I believe I rolled over and hit him and said he could google it later.
I know there is such romantic love in our household if it's not us yelling "Bah" and throwing things at the dogs (not hitting them with it just landing near them) or squirting a squirt bottle at the puppies then it's a discussion on why you can or can't have s*x. Fun times.
In a side note - We live alone... and our shades are always closed. This weekend my mom is visiting and D almost walked out into the living room naked with her here - he was trying to find some clean jeans (located in the dryer)... If he hadn't heard her talking to the dogs she would have gotten a full frontal of D. I about peed my pants when he came running into the bathroom and told me what had almost occurred. Fortunately my mom was spared the image and D was spared the mortification. I think his heart rate is finally returning to normal now.
In other news - my mom has been here and you have to love a woman who will clean your entire house and fold your laundry... and while she makes Ernie act like an idiot she loves all our dogs though she is calling the puppies by the wrong names - this isn't unusual.
My husband has a list of things he wants... s*x is on that list, but there are other things baby is on the list, but again not the things I'm talking about... he wants - a fenced in back yard, new doors and windows- don't ask he hates ours - they work in my mind, a hair cut - heck I want that one too he's starting to look way too shaggy, a new vehicle - NOT happening, another gun (NOT happening, and I'm sure there's more I could add to the list - probably landscaping, someone else to paint the house and patch holes, and well ya know just about everything else under the sun. Yet I am the one accused of having expensive tastes. Yeah uhmm not. I'm the one who has been reigning D in... reminding him how much money we have, that if we do indeed make it to take home baby that we need to have x saved so that we can survive while I'm on maternity leave, that we have to do this that and the other thing... such a pain.
I truly hate being the voice of reason. It's just not my favorite thing to do... especially when all I want to do is spend spend spend.
Ah well what you going to do... apparently just continue putting one foot in front of the other and hope that I don't run into anything.
Friday, February 09, 2007
Juggling
Right now the best way I could use to describe how I'm feeling is to say I'm juggling... D feels as if he's waiting for another shoe to drop and be the thing that seals our fate. He's fearful that this is going to end. His fear is rubbing off on me... I've googled u/s measurements, crown rump length, etc etc and I have dial up so everyone knows that it took some time to do those things. We want this badly, but whenever we get hopeful we both kind of internally pinch ourselves like - quit it. Because we've been burned so many times before hope has now become the enemy rather than the savior.
Melissa posted a hope/wish box... a box for someone else to hold your wish. I'll admit to putting a wish in there. Sometimes giving voice to your fears allows you to finally be free. Of course that hasn't happened yet as my fears in the dark of the night have come creeping out.
We told my mom about this and she's tickled... and we had to back her up a few notches. D did the backing up of the bus so to speak. We told her we'd tell her when she could get truly excited and D voiced his fears to her. I'm so lucky that D has such a relationship with my mom... D has also made the decision that we are not telling his parents. He doesn't feel that they could a) keep a secret or b) understand how to give us empathy if this does go tits up. So as a good wife (quit laughing I can occasionally be biddable) we're refraining from telling them for at least a few weeks if not longer. It's also easier for us then. Everytime we tell one more person our anxiety level increases. It's not pretty at all. So we wait and hope and wish that Friday would get her sooner rather than later... and in the meantime we try not to lose our minds.
I think Thalia said it best - that u/s are generally only reassurring the day you have them after that it's back up in the air (at least she said something along those lines).
So excuse me while I go huddle in my bed and pull the covers over my head and attempt to sleep my way through the wait until u/s day... I'm trying to be an ostrage and somedays doing well - others failing miserably.
Melissa posted a hope/wish box... a box for someone else to hold your wish. I'll admit to putting a wish in there. Sometimes giving voice to your fears allows you to finally be free. Of course that hasn't happened yet as my fears in the dark of the night have come creeping out.
We told my mom about this and she's tickled... and we had to back her up a few notches. D did the backing up of the bus so to speak. We told her we'd tell her when she could get truly excited and D voiced his fears to her. I'm so lucky that D has such a relationship with my mom... D has also made the decision that we are not telling his parents. He doesn't feel that they could a) keep a secret or b) understand how to give us empathy if this does go tits up. So as a good wife (quit laughing I can occasionally be biddable) we're refraining from telling them for at least a few weeks if not longer. It's also easier for us then. Everytime we tell one more person our anxiety level increases. It's not pretty at all. So we wait and hope and wish that Friday would get her sooner rather than later... and in the meantime we try not to lose our minds.
I think Thalia said it best - that u/s are generally only reassurring the day you have them after that it's back up in the air (at least she said something along those lines).
So excuse me while I go huddle in my bed and pull the covers over my head and attempt to sleep my way through the wait until u/s day... I'm trying to be an ostrage and somedays doing well - others failing miserably.
Dog Behavior
I wanted to comment... it did indeed involve the bags of chains. Our dogs are weims and doxies (weiners) both have very strong dominant personalities (breeds). We intentionally picked both breeds because they have a lot of characteristics we love... however they have a few traits that we could do without.
Lola - is fearful of strangers. The trainers felt her issue was that she felt she had to protect the pack. By the end of the session she went from being hackles up and barking everytime the trainers moved to climbing up in their laps. Lola climbs into Meg's food bowl (attempting to dominate her) and Meg lets her.
Chance - loves people, however he's the aggressor now in the things going on with Megan and that's not a good thing. He barks at noises and was the top dog of the house - his injury in December kind of changed things a bit and now he's working on getting back to the top of the pack/hill etc.
Ernie - loves people and loves D & I just a bit too much - has a panic attack when we leave him alone resultiing in his destruction of a kennel and lets not forget his breaking out of his kennel and attempting to destroy the basement. He counter surfs, barks at me when he wants something (not just one bark - no about 30) When Dan comes home or I come home he gets in a tizzy. These things are all not a pretty sight. He's gotten worse since Dan switched jobs.
Megan - attempted to eat Chance is timid, protective of her puppies and has some OCD issues.
Yes - everyone I have neurotic dogs that we broke. Add in the puppies and my house has lost it's mind.
Lola - is fearful of strangers. The trainers felt her issue was that she felt she had to protect the pack. By the end of the session she went from being hackles up and barking everytime the trainers moved to climbing up in their laps. Lola climbs into Meg's food bowl (attempting to dominate her) and Meg lets her.
Chance - loves people, however he's the aggressor now in the things going on with Megan and that's not a good thing. He barks at noises and was the top dog of the house - his injury in December kind of changed things a bit and now he's working on getting back to the top of the pack/hill etc.
Ernie - loves people and loves D & I just a bit too much - has a panic attack when we leave him alone resultiing in his destruction of a kennel and lets not forget his breaking out of his kennel and attempting to destroy the basement. He counter surfs, barks at me when he wants something (not just one bark - no about 30) When Dan comes home or I come home he gets in a tizzy. These things are all not a pretty sight. He's gotten worse since Dan switched jobs.
Megan - attempted to eat Chance is timid, protective of her puppies and has some OCD issues.
Yes - everyone I have neurotic dogs that we broke. Add in the puppies and my house has lost it's mind.
Thursday, February 08, 2007
Poor Ernie
Poor Ernie... this afternoon I finally got the chance to get new supplies and clean his ear. What I found of course was an ear that I suspected was infected. Can we all say not so great. I was less than thrilled and spent about 20 minutes cleaning his ear and soaking it. Fun times I tell you. During that time I also called the vet because heck they are on speed dial so when they called me back in we went for Ernie to get checked out.
Granted we had just returned from taking Emmy to her grandpa to take home to her new owners. So it was back in the car and back to the vet. D made the unique statement of "Can't we just staple his ear to his head?" (The problem is that Ernie keeps shaking his head which then results in his ear rebleeding and making a huge mess) Oddly enough the vet considered this option and said - you know that just might work, not with staples though. So after some discussion - Ernie has his ear sutured to his chin/neck/head to prevent him from shaking that ear and injuring himself further than he already has.
In other news I've realized that even though the fetal pole was measuring smaller (at least by all the information I can gather) than it should be right now that we are hoping that this will work out. Lord if it doesn't the fall will be awful. Even D admits that. So for right now we're just hoping to get through the next 8 days and get to the u/s and hopefully see good things rather than bad things.
In the meantime I've got puppies to play with.
Oh and the Bar*k B*uster people came. Statia you would be delighted to know our experience was much different than yours - thank goodness. I was quite fearful of what it would be like, however I knew we had to do something. So currently we are working on the exercises with the various dogs and hoping that we remember what they taught us and that we notice an improvement in behavior. In all honesty we have noticed a difference. However tomorrow will be the true test as my mom will be arriving and hopefully won't break whatever we've managed to accomplish.
Granted we had just returned from taking Emmy to her grandpa to take home to her new owners. So it was back in the car and back to the vet. D made the unique statement of "Can't we just staple his ear to his head?" (The problem is that Ernie keeps shaking his head which then results in his ear rebleeding and making a huge mess) Oddly enough the vet considered this option and said - you know that just might work, not with staples though. So after some discussion - Ernie has his ear sutured to his chin/neck/head to prevent him from shaking that ear and injuring himself further than he already has.
In other news I've realized that even though the fetal pole was measuring smaller (at least by all the information I can gather) than it should be right now that we are hoping that this will work out. Lord if it doesn't the fall will be awful. Even D admits that. So for right now we're just hoping to get through the next 8 days and get to the u/s and hopefully see good things rather than bad things.
In the meantime I've got puppies to play with.
Oh and the Bar*k B*uster people came. Statia you would be delighted to know our experience was much different than yours - thank goodness. I was quite fearful of what it would be like, however I knew we had to do something. So currently we are working on the exercises with the various dogs and hoping that we remember what they taught us and that we notice an improvement in behavior. In all honesty we have noticed a difference. However tomorrow will be the true test as my mom will be arriving and hopefully won't break whatever we've managed to accomplish.
Wednesday, February 07, 2007
Unchartered Territory
We are slowly going into unchartered waters... the ultrasound was good. We have a heartbeat. D and I of course are ecstatic, but as both D and the RE pointed out we're not out of the woods. The bleeding is still disconcerting and unnerving and could be a sign of a threatened miscarriage. We just don't know. We have another u/s on 2/16. We'll know more then.
But for the moment - it's good news and we'll take that. So we have a heartbeat. That's a good thing.
Let me just describe for a moment how the u/s went though. We ended up in a room of course and I look at the u/s machine and hmm it says "corrupt file" my thought that's not good. Of course when Dr. Sarcastic walks in he has an entourage. Great just great I get a resident for this. Fun times let me tell you. Of course we couldn't get that u/s machine to work so clothes back on and off to another room. Apparently this was a brand new machine they had only had it in use for 2 days. Hopefully next time it will be working as it has sound capabilities as well as can measure the heartbeat accurately. I'm always glad to see my money well spent. Into the new room we go and Dr. Sarcastic introduces the resident who is going to do the u/s. Imagine my look of great - just what I want to deal with right now. Resident dude is slow... let me just say - speed would be nice as generally it's not a lot of talking he's talking - you're going to feel my touch, you're going to --- HELLO please just cut to the chase. I need to know whether I need to break out the fifth or the chocolate milk. Finally he's in and he's squinting at the machine trying to figure out how to zoom in. Dr. Sarcastic takes over at that point as I think he knew I was about to start pushing buttons to get the scoop. U/S completed and we went in and talked... while Dr. Sarcastic is encoruaged by these results he also is well aware that with my loss history as well as that of my families that we are not out of the woods and understands why I am hesistant to jump for joy just yet. The resident on the other hand just looked shell shocked. Apparently he had just read my chart.
In other news we're now down to 5 puppies as Louie went to his forever home. His new mom is ecstatic and so joyful. We took one last picture and sent him off with the knowledge that he will be loved. Friday Emmy will go to her new home and then Tuesday Jodi... so a load will be lightened a bit.
But for the moment - it's good news and we'll take that. So we have a heartbeat. That's a good thing.
Let me just describe for a moment how the u/s went though. We ended up in a room of course and I look at the u/s machine and hmm it says "corrupt file" my thought that's not good. Of course when Dr. Sarcastic walks in he has an entourage. Great just great I get a resident for this. Fun times let me tell you. Of course we couldn't get that u/s machine to work so clothes back on and off to another room. Apparently this was a brand new machine they had only had it in use for 2 days. Hopefully next time it will be working as it has sound capabilities as well as can measure the heartbeat accurately. I'm always glad to see my money well spent. Into the new room we go and Dr. Sarcastic introduces the resident who is going to do the u/s. Imagine my look of great - just what I want to deal with right now. Resident dude is slow... let me just say - speed would be nice as generally it's not a lot of talking he's talking - you're going to feel my touch, you're going to --- HELLO please just cut to the chase. I need to know whether I need to break out the fifth or the chocolate milk. Finally he's in and he's squinting at the machine trying to figure out how to zoom in. Dr. Sarcastic takes over at that point as I think he knew I was about to start pushing buttons to get the scoop. U/S completed and we went in and talked... while Dr. Sarcastic is encoruaged by these results he also is well aware that with my loss history as well as that of my families that we are not out of the woods and understands why I am hesistant to jump for joy just yet. The resident on the other hand just looked shell shocked. Apparently he had just read my chart.
In other news we're now down to 5 puppies as Louie went to his forever home. His new mom is ecstatic and so joyful. We took one last picture and sent him off with the knowledge that he will be loved. Friday Emmy will go to her new home and then Tuesday Jodi... so a load will be lightened a bit.
Tuesday, February 06, 2007
You've Got To Be Kidding Me?
First - did you know I apparently don't have a sense of humor... Read this can I just go slit my wrists now? It's not that I'm not happy for them, but for goodness sake can she send me some of that fertility. D just looked at me when I said the news - well at least they have a new house. I admit that it's great they appear to love their children, are financially independent and well apparently fertility as rabbits. Just with the looming u/s this just makes me cringe and filled with dread. Like it's a sign from somewhere - this will not work out for you, but look she can do it x times.
In other news... Ernie's ear... yeah uhm we couldn't get the sucker to quit bleeding. 2 pressure bandages and D holding Ernie's ear for 15 minutes it was still what I would describe as a gusher. My massacre scene was spreading from the living room to the kitchen to the bathroom. D was impressed at the spray and splatter - he's like this is impressive are you sure he doesn't need a transfusion. So 3 hours after this little journey of Ernie scratching open the bite that Meg inflicted - D cursing and threatening to send Meg to timbucktoo we were off to the vet. You know my second home. They don't even need me to identify who I am - they know. This is so not good.
The vet gave Ernie a tranquilizer so he could handle the whole being at the vet's. We left him in her capable hands with his pressure bandage and e-collar in place. We picked him up this afternoon and she had to cauterize as well as suture his ear and put a pressure bandage and a new e-collar in place. He's pitiful and still running into things - usually me. It's going to be a long 2 weeks with that thing in. I may have to take a picture of the bruises he's inflicted as I right now I appear to have gotten into a fight. I have with a stupid e-collar. Ernie likes to walk and rub his head on your leg, etc... so now he's trying to rub his head, but instead pushing you with the e-collar causing bruises.
Maybe this all happened for a reason - D and I didn't even think about the u/s until tonight so at least we didn't have to focus on that all day... Of course the vet bills are just getting outrageous - thank god for 0% financing... (at this point we're saving up the giant bill to get the best deal - so Meg's spay and teeth cleaning will be on it as well as vaccines for Ernie & Lola and the puppies and heart worm preventative for everyone and flea preventative. I'm all about 0% interest and at this point things are just getting ridiculous. D asked where our toaster oven was.
In other news... Ernie's ear... yeah uhm we couldn't get the sucker to quit bleeding. 2 pressure bandages and D holding Ernie's ear for 15 minutes it was still what I would describe as a gusher. My massacre scene was spreading from the living room to the kitchen to the bathroom. D was impressed at the spray and splatter - he's like this is impressive are you sure he doesn't need a transfusion. So 3 hours after this little journey of Ernie scratching open the bite that Meg inflicted - D cursing and threatening to send Meg to timbucktoo we were off to the vet. You know my second home. They don't even need me to identify who I am - they know. This is so not good.
The vet gave Ernie a tranquilizer so he could handle the whole being at the vet's. We left him in her capable hands with his pressure bandage and e-collar in place. We picked him up this afternoon and she had to cauterize as well as suture his ear and put a pressure bandage and a new e-collar in place. He's pitiful and still running into things - usually me. It's going to be a long 2 weeks with that thing in. I may have to take a picture of the bruises he's inflicted as I right now I appear to have gotten into a fight. I have with a stupid e-collar. Ernie likes to walk and rub his head on your leg, etc... so now he's trying to rub his head, but instead pushing you with the e-collar causing bruises.
Maybe this all happened for a reason - D and I didn't even think about the u/s until tonight so at least we didn't have to focus on that all day... Of course the vet bills are just getting outrageous - thank god for 0% financing... (at this point we're saving up the giant bill to get the best deal - so Meg's spay and teeth cleaning will be on it as well as vaccines for Ernie & Lola and the puppies and heart worm preventative for everyone and flea preventative. I'm all about 0% interest and at this point things are just getting ridiculous. D asked where our toaster oven was.
Monday, February 05, 2007
What Else Can Go Wrong?
*warning* worked all night, have had a really bad day - typos and errors are the result of my evil twin Samanthanella queen of salmonella!
First did you know there was a blizzard where I lived? No??? Well there was. Let me just say I'm not a big fan of snow so a blizzard when I have to work and D has to work is not a good thing. D for obvious reasons he'll be out in the blizzard, me because well that generally means we'll have a lot of patients.
So we've been digging ourselves out from under the arctic blast of air. The dogs of course are not thrilled with the temperature and Chance has taken to peeing on the porch as if to say - you think I'm walking in this... I think not.
In other dog news - because well heck I think you guys enjoy reading about the hijinks that occur at our house. Ernie has busted his kennel. I mean he has seriously messed the thing up. So much so that when we took Emmy (puppy teal) to the vet to get vaccinated we talked with the vet about what to do. Ernie has separation anxiety as well as some noise phobias. Things have gotten worse over the last 3-4 months. His poor kennel everytime we come home is in a different spot then it was when we put him in it. We tried a dog appeasing pheremone thingie and well insetad of calming him - he barked incessantly. So Ernie my sweet puppy dog is now being given xanax when we go to work or have to go anywhere. This is a short term solution as we're having those high priced dog behaviorists out on Thursday to hopefully help us with all our problem pooches.
So back to the kennel... I went to work and D decided that he didn't feel comfortable putting Ernie in that kennel as it wouldn't hold him. So he left Ernie in the spare bedroom with Lola in her kennel and a kong with peanut butter frozen. He calls and lets me know this information while I'm at work and he's halfway to work. Gee thanks honey... I would have taken my chances on the kennel rather than the chances that my house is going to be destroyed when I get home. We also had to leave the puppies in the bathroom as they have mastered escaping from the x-pen.
Lets just say yesterday morning was interesting. I arrived home and opened the door and there's Ernie with a rawhide in his mouth. Nothing in the house was destroyed although he did put some scratches in the bedroom door.
The bathroom however - well that was a whole different story... I had poop from one end of the bathroom to the other. The little shits had even gotten up onto the edge of the garden tub and put a poopy paw print on the back wall. Great just great... and Meg had pooped in her kennel. She apparently ate something that didn't agree with her and had diarrhea. I wanted to puke - anyone would have. D finally got home and he tackled all the poop issues and well... I dealt with the dogs.
While dealing with the dogs Ernie jumped over the gate and landed on Meg. Meg lashed out and well you guessed it... Ernie got bit on the ear. She tore a small chunk. Let me just say I was able to clean him up great yesterday. Today however Ernie decided that he needed to scratch his head and well I came to the living room and find what appears to be a crime scene of a bloody murder. I have blood spatters up the wall and an area of carpet that has blood spatter. It looks like someone was shot. So now Ernie has a bandage on his head I've replaced 3 times (he wiggles out of it) and Chance's e-collar. He's thrilled. So much so that he is running into us every opportunity so now I have even more bruises than I did before.
Right now I'd like a drink...something fruity and alcoholic. However since the jury is still out on whether or not we'll have a heartbeat I figured I can always drink tomorrow if I get bad news.
Oh yes and one of my dear friends in real life is pregnant... to me while I am ecstatic for her - she's a great lady and her and her husband are one of the few couples D and I go out with... The thought crossed my mind that since her pregnancy will most likely be successful mine won't. I know she would do just about anything to help me to have a successful pregnancy and so I haven't told her that thought. I think it would reveal how truly cynical I have become from all of this.
D isn't talking about this... in fact he's trying to ignore this. Other than not having s*x and asking me if the spotting is still there (yes, it is I call it my slow old brown blood ooze) he'd prefer to not even consider what tomorrow will bring... whether it be good news or bad news. He's against saying anything to his parents, but wants to tell my mom - because she'll understand.
So... will post a picture of Ernie looking like a doofus. Will update tomorrow with the u/s results.
First did you know there was a blizzard where I lived? No??? Well there was. Let me just say I'm not a big fan of snow so a blizzard when I have to work and D has to work is not a good thing. D for obvious reasons he'll be out in the blizzard, me because well that generally means we'll have a lot of patients.
So we've been digging ourselves out from under the arctic blast of air. The dogs of course are not thrilled with the temperature and Chance has taken to peeing on the porch as if to say - you think I'm walking in this... I think not.
In other dog news - because well heck I think you guys enjoy reading about the hijinks that occur at our house. Ernie has busted his kennel. I mean he has seriously messed the thing up. So much so that when we took Emmy (puppy teal) to the vet to get vaccinated we talked with the vet about what to do. Ernie has separation anxiety as well as some noise phobias. Things have gotten worse over the last 3-4 months. His poor kennel everytime we come home is in a different spot then it was when we put him in it. We tried a dog appeasing pheremone thingie and well insetad of calming him - he barked incessantly. So Ernie my sweet puppy dog is now being given xanax when we go to work or have to go anywhere. This is a short term solution as we're having those high priced dog behaviorists out on Thursday to hopefully help us with all our problem pooches.
So back to the kennel... I went to work and D decided that he didn't feel comfortable putting Ernie in that kennel as it wouldn't hold him. So he left Ernie in the spare bedroom with Lola in her kennel and a kong with peanut butter frozen. He calls and lets me know this information while I'm at work and he's halfway to work. Gee thanks honey... I would have taken my chances on the kennel rather than the chances that my house is going to be destroyed when I get home. We also had to leave the puppies in the bathroom as they have mastered escaping from the x-pen.
Lets just say yesterday morning was interesting. I arrived home and opened the door and there's Ernie with a rawhide in his mouth. Nothing in the house was destroyed although he did put some scratches in the bedroom door.
The bathroom however - well that was a whole different story... I had poop from one end of the bathroom to the other. The little shits had even gotten up onto the edge of the garden tub and put a poopy paw print on the back wall. Great just great... and Meg had pooped in her kennel. She apparently ate something that didn't agree with her and had diarrhea. I wanted to puke - anyone would have. D finally got home and he tackled all the poop issues and well... I dealt with the dogs.
While dealing with the dogs Ernie jumped over the gate and landed on Meg. Meg lashed out and well you guessed it... Ernie got bit on the ear. She tore a small chunk. Let me just say I was able to clean him up great yesterday. Today however Ernie decided that he needed to scratch his head and well I came to the living room and find what appears to be a crime scene of a bloody murder. I have blood spatters up the wall and an area of carpet that has blood spatter. It looks like someone was shot. So now Ernie has a bandage on his head I've replaced 3 times (he wiggles out of it) and Chance's e-collar. He's thrilled. So much so that he is running into us every opportunity so now I have even more bruises than I did before.
Right now I'd like a drink...something fruity and alcoholic. However since the jury is still out on whether or not we'll have a heartbeat I figured I can always drink tomorrow if I get bad news.
Oh yes and one of my dear friends in real life is pregnant... to me while I am ecstatic for her - she's a great lady and her and her husband are one of the few couples D and I go out with... The thought crossed my mind that since her pregnancy will most likely be successful mine won't. I know she would do just about anything to help me to have a successful pregnancy and so I haven't told her that thought. I think it would reveal how truly cynical I have become from all of this.
D isn't talking about this... in fact he's trying to ignore this. Other than not having s*x and asking me if the spotting is still there (yes, it is I call it my slow old brown blood ooze) he'd prefer to not even consider what tomorrow will bring... whether it be good news or bad news. He's against saying anything to his parents, but wants to tell my mom - because she'll understand.
So... will post a picture of Ernie looking like a doofus. Will update tomorrow with the u/s results.
Thursday, February 01, 2007
Snow... What the heck is this?
Because puppy pictures are something that helps to pass the time. The other day we took the puppies out for their first adventure in the snow. We had had a pretty good snow storm so there was a lot of fresh fluffy snow. Out we went.
The first picture is D... he has Emmy in his coat because she had decided that it was too cold.
Puppies playing in the snow on the front porch.
D decided that Emmy needed a coat so she's in one of Lola's many coats... it was a bit snug.
Louie was one of the first ones in the snow.
Jodi trying to sneak through the baby gate. Yes we have baby gates... we also have a baby monitor all for the puppies.
D is not having a great night - the puppies are pooping left and right and he's kind of over it. Seeing as I had to clean up the car from the gummy bear excursion I think it's only fair that he's doing the poop duty tonight.
The first picture is D... he has Emmy in his coat because she had decided that it was too cold.
Puppies playing in the snow on the front porch.
D decided that Emmy needed a coat so she's in one of Lola's many coats... it was a bit snug.
Louie was one of the first ones in the snow.
Jodi trying to sneak through the baby gate. Yes we have baby gates... we also have a baby monitor all for the puppies.
D is not having a great night - the puppies are pooping left and right and he's kind of over it. Seeing as I had to clean up the car from the gummy bear excursion I think it's only fair that he's doing the poop duty tonight.
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