Saturday, March 04, 2006

So... Now we wait...

Trigger was done on Tuesday... looks like we O'd either Wednesday or Thursday.

Now... we wait.

Wait for what? I don't know...

What does a girl with hcg circulating in her system do for 2 weeks- certainly not pee on hpt's right? WRONG - I've got 50 of those buggers why not. Granted seeing them get fainter is slightly depressing... but hopefully I'll see them get darker as well. The doctor's office nicely told me that I could get a blood draw on Friday. I think that's great THEY want to know on Friday... I'm not so sure I want to know on Friday... doesn't that sound crappy. A part of me wants to know immediately... the other part of me wants to hibernate and not learn while I'm working. Namely this falls during a time period when I'm going to be at work... talk about sucking eggs... I think I'd rather find out on Wednesday when I've just finished my stretch and my husband is going to be there to deal with the fallout...

One of my close friends has thought of me as Suzy Sunshine... Ms Optimism... Pollyanna... etc etc... I don't feel like that girl right now. I don't feel like this worked... I know we'll do another cycle of injectables if this doesn't... and I can at the very least cling to that knowledge... but I wish I had that strong feeling that things would all work out... and I can't quite get that thought to take hold. So... I'll pray... and I'll pray... and I'll hope... and I'll keep my fingers crossed that this two week wait will end positively. And if not... that I'll have the courage and the faith to keep going on.

3 comments:

Cathy said...

Great luck this cycle and getting through the 2ww.

Mandy said...

Come on Suzy, where' that sunshine?? ;) As hard as it is, try your damndest to stay positive. This will work. You have to have faith in that. And if for some horrible reason it doesn't you've got a great support system who will help pick you back up, brush off the dust and help you down the next path. You'll find the faith and courage if you need to. ((hugs))

Sami said...

Suzy is on hiatus... she wants to renegotiate her contract... until she comes up with some plausible perks - such as properly doubling betas, making it to ultrasound...

Seriously though... I see glimpses of her, but truthfully we're trying to be neutral this time... not get our hopes up too high... or too low... trying to find balance...