As most who know me in real life know I hate math... well I still hate it.
My math calculations led me to believe that it was really likely that I would not be close to my anniversary for any hpt's or betas. I was wrong wrong wrong. This is why one always must double check your calculations because well I SUCK and to think D and my fil miscalculated the length and width of our new deck and it's shorter than it was supposed to be. They apparently didn't double check their calculations either before sawing off things or in my case spouting off that it's a great day because I won't be testing around our anniversary when in reality I will be.
In all seriousness it's not a big deal. It's not ideal and I could hold out a day longer etc, but truthfully we want to know. If we could know right now if this all worked we would. Does that make sense?
We also received a letter from the RE's office saying that starting 12/01/06 they will no longer be participating with our current insurance. If everyone can join in with me and say wtf? So I wait patiently to find out what my employer will be offering for insurance and seeing if it will even be worth our while to sign up for it or not.
Or I could be all pollyanna like and say "not to worry we'll be pregnant for real by December." But I'm not like that in regards to my own pregnancies... everyone else's I'm your optimistic gal. Me I'm the girl of doom and gloom (read the archives good betas, doubling betas, etc etc mean squat in regards to me). At this point I'm not getting my hopes even remotely up until I see a heartbeat in the uterus and they better check to make sure there is nothing growing in my tubes as well. Because boy would that pee on my parade.
I've also not had a whole heck of a lot to say... because do you seriously want to read of my neurotic musings? The crazy thoughts of someone who is literally like 3-4 dpo? I'd poke my own eyes out if I didn't need them to google and read. I don't think I would be nearly as nuts if I hadn't just received that notice in the mail from the RE's office. If I was pregnant and confident it would all work out it wouldn't even bother me but knowing that I'm short some gonal-f if this cycle is a bust and that financially come December it would suck. It's putting my plans out of whack and I like to always have a plan and a back up plan. Right now I don't know what that is... I'm sure D will say - it'll be okay - we'll do what we have to do and I'll try very hard not to choke him when he says that - because I know and he knows that for it to be okay one of us if not both of us will have to work more than we already do and well that means less time together and thinking about that stinks to say the least.
Ultimately we'll get there, it just may take some time. Until then I'm going to go find a *#(@*!! calculator so that hopefully I can balance my checkbook. Lets just blame it on the drugs seriously - they must be the thing that is making me nuts this month. I'm going to also go find some peanut butter and chocolate something because apparently I want some comfort food and nothing says comfort than those little debbie peanut butter and chocolate bars (not nutty bars, but the other things with the tube of peanut butter in them) yeah if I didn't know better I would say I was totally losing my mind - nope just saying to hell with my diet. Screw it.