Thursday, September 28, 2006

Apparently My Head Will Explode

Whether it's the weather, the season, the drugs who the heck knows, but I went to bed last night feeling like my head was about to explode and I woke up with the same feeling. I'm home... I'm sick and I'm okay with that. Though I would like my head to feel a bit better. I prefer mental health days rather than sick days if you know what i mean.

Day 2 of shooting up is fast approaching and so far life is fine. I'm ambivalent about this cycle - why I have no clue, just am. I think that at this point we are in cycle 18 of trying and while I would love to erase the 18 months of trying - create amnesia for both D and myself, however I can't. We both are cynical in regards to the trying and then we succeed it becomes even more cynical.

We are truly optimists at heart or at least I am. I've always viewed life as the glass is half full. Or - it could be worse. I know that it could be worse - but I wish that for once things came easily. However looking back on both of our lives- nothing worth while has come easily so why should we expect this to be easy.

On the bright side of things at least the trying is still fun... I told D - be prepared we'll probably be having sex all next weekend. He looked at me and goes "When have I ever said no." Good point... he hasn't. He knows the drill. I imagine trigger (which I need to pick up from the pharmacy (whoops) will be next week Friday, Saturday, Sunday sometime in there.


Startling Life said...

Amnesia would be good but it so nice to see that you haven't lost your optimism. Good luck with trigger next week and have a very, VERY good next weekend.

Maribeth said...

Well, at least you'll be having a fun weekend. Maybe make it a romanitc one, even though I know it's a tough time. But do whatever makes you and your Hubby feel sexy and relaxed. Then just have fun.
Love ya!

Linda B. said...

Sorry you are feeling under the weather, kiddo. Time for lots of chicken soup and hot tea.

linda b.