Whether it's the weather, the season, the drugs who the heck knows, but I went to bed last night feeling like my head was about to explode and I woke up with the same feeling. I'm home... I'm sick and I'm okay with that. Though I would like my head to feel a bit better. I prefer mental health days rather than sick days if you know what i mean.
Day 2 of shooting up is fast approaching and so far life is fine. I'm ambivalent about this cycle - why I have no clue, just am. I think that at this point we are in cycle 18 of trying and while I would love to erase the 18 months of trying - create amnesia for both D and myself, however I can't. We both are cynical in regards to the trying and then we succeed it becomes even more cynical.
We are truly optimists at heart or at least I am. I've always viewed life as the glass is half full. Or - it could be worse. I know that it could be worse - but I wish that for once things came easily. However looking back on both of our lives- nothing worth while has come easily so why should we expect this to be easy.
On the bright side of things at least the trying is still fun... I told D - be prepared we'll probably be having sex all next weekend. He looked at me and goes "When have I ever said no." Good point... he hasn't. He knows the drill. I imagine trigger (which I need to pick up from the pharmacy (whoops) will be next week Friday, Saturday, Sunday sometime in there.