Since I'm ignoring the "not negative" at this point - aside from taking my prometrium and vitamins like a good doobie. I truthfully have no symptoms other than an occasional boob twinge and peeing more frequently. All of you that have symptoms - congratulations, no need to send them my way until well we have some confirmation that this "not negative" will stick and hasn't gone to the bermuda triangle.
Anyways...my point of this post wasn't to go on and on about the not negative. It's there, hasn't left the uterus yet and well we'll know definitively next week what it's doing or not doing so to speak. So that's just a countdown - 6 days till we find out one way or the other.
I mentioned briefly in my last post that this weekend at work was tough. It was tough for a number of reasons, but working in a unit that deals with trauma you see a lot of drama, tragedy, etc. This unfortunately was the case this weekend for me. It left me drained. By Wednesday morning it's a good thing I didn't become a blubbering mess during the u/s. My emotions were that RAW. Raw because I had to be the nurse doom and gloom. I had to tell this family that their loved one would never be the same person and would most likely never wake up. I HATE being that nurse, but I WON'T ever lie to a family when asked questions. This family bonded with me. They trusted me, they let me in and talked with me about their emotions. If I would have told them that their loved one would one day wake up... I would have been lying to them. Their loved one hadn't ever talked about what he would want done or wouldn't want done.
I asked the question - "What is the WORST that he could be that you are okay with?" Think about it yourself... if something were to happen to you what is the WORST condition that you could be in that you would be okay with? Everyone is different. We have these wonderful legal documents called Advanced Directives... have one drawn up, tell your families what you want and don't want. Seriously on a daily basis I see people that are 18-99 come in the hospital and some have these papers which makes it easier for the families... and other's don't. Which makes it that much more difficult for your loved ones. You don't want to make those kind of decisions harder for your family than it needs to be. D and I have talked about ours, but have not had them notarized yet. They will be shortly. I'm pushing his parents and my mom to have theirs completed as well.
I know I know it seems like all I ever talk about is death, but truthfully this isn't about death it's about having your wishes followed if you're not able to make those decisions for whatever reason. It's telling people what you want or don't want. Those are always good things. My advance directive reads like a horror show and involves something along the lines if you hear these words x, x, x, call M and she'll help you make the decision to yank my plug.
One of the other things I'm encouraging all to do is sign up as organ donors if that is something you would want to do... that way the decision is no longer in your families hands - but you've made the decision and your wishes then can be followed. Michigan has an organ donor registry... not all states do. Do a google search and find out if yours does and if you would want to be an organ donor if your life were to end sign up and let your families know. You'd be surprised at what can actually be transplanted even when you're in your 70's. I recently had a patient that if you would have asked me they wouldn't have been able to, however he had one organ that was viable and was able to be transplanted. His family took comfort from him being able to help someone else.
Yes, yes, I know nurse doom and gloom is back, but really I'm not. I'm letting you guys know some of the issues that are near and dear to my heart- (see I'm more than just infertility). I'm going to update my lists of places I visit... there's going to be an organ donation link (this weekend), a traumatic brain injury (TBI) website, and maybe if I can find a good one an advanced directive website... Some has to do with the past weekend, but most of all it has to do with the last 5 years of my life as a nurse. I see families on a daily basis lacking the information and knowledge because they never talked about these things... Yes, they are uncomfortable conversations that generally involve someone knocking on wood, however they are important conversations that you need to have with those you love before the decision is taken out of your hands.
Most of the women who read this blog are up to date on infertility and reproductive health matters... lets keep learning about other things as well... So... I'll put a note up when I add the links and I hope you visit them. Ya never know you might learn something...
I know I did.