Can't sleep... seriously I can't sleep. I thought about popping some vicodin and trying that, but decided nah that would ruin my sleeping off of tomorrow.
D is curled up sleeping beside me, the dogs are all smothering me by being stuck to my side tonight as they sleep. Me I'm wide awake. Most likely just nerves. I hate nerves. We've been moved up which is good I guess... although morning is never my time. Truthfully we haven't been moved up by that much. D's biggest hope is that I don't come out looking like hell or puking. D didn't handle the puking all that well last time - not sure what caused it... the methotrexate or the antibiotic that I was taking, but boy in the middle of an emotional discussion I had to run to the bathroom and all I heard from D was - Don't puke you just took your antibiotic." Gee thanks honey aren't you supposed to come hold my hair or something? My mother took the liberty of reminding D - she's a puker... and she doesn't give warning. Gee thanks mom. Make the poor guy even more nervous about all this. My friend M and the other M (one is a nurse, one is a paramedic) both offered to come over and help D if needed. He's got both their numbers. I doubt he needs them, but it was sweet of both of them to offer.
I can't sleep. So I'm scouring the web trying to look at various scrub tops. I did buy some off ebay and fortunately it looks like I like about 6 out of the 10 wich is a good start, but I want more... I want fun, fashionable scrubs. I want mock wrap tops... but prints... Scare me. Seriously I've NEVER warn prints before in my life. I'm a solid kind of gal, but with solids at my work that means white top, white lab coat. That's not fun for kids... that's scary. So prints it is. However I have some anxiety about the tops I can't help it. Prints make me nervous, don't know why, but they do. So I've been debating about 100 different scrub tops and patterns and prints and am just severely overwhelmed by the whole process. I'm also overwhelmed at buying new shoes. I have weird feet... they are short and they are wide. I have a high instep so somehow most of the brands that nurses like - such as dansko, merrel, nursemates... they won't fit my wide, high instep, short foot. Last week D tried valiently to find me a pair of white crocs size small... we couldn't find 1 pair. My favorite shoe - superbirki no longer comes in white and has turned a funky yellow tinge. This is the second pair that has done that. I don't want to waste a LOT of money on a pair of shoes I'll have to replace fairly quickly. I'm too cheap for that.
So... I scour... and I fret and I haven't made any decisions. D swears that the management of the hospital needs to go with me shoe shopping and after a visit to two stores they'd cry uncle and let me wear black ones. However the policy states - white shoes. So no black for me... though God wouldn't that make sense? Wouldn't that look more professional than scruffy shoes? You'd think. I doubt we'll ever win that argument. Patient's apparently like being able to identify who their nurse is... and on the adult floors that means - white shirt/coat, green pants or white pants... on the kiddies floors print top, green or white pants... both floors white shoes. They did a survey.
So... thank you for listening to the rambling rants of a sleep deprived, nut who can't figure out what to buy on the internet to wear to work... suggestions are welcome.