Friday, June 02, 2006

Who let the cat out of the bag?

Apparently I work with a bunch of motor mouths... now this is not news to me, but it was quite a shock to walk into work and have 3 people say "I heard a rumor... is it true?"

The rumor of course was that I was leaving to go to PICU... and yep it was true. Right now my current manager and my future manager are in negotiations as to when I can go to PICU... my current manager wants to keep me through the summer... my future manager won't let that happen. So sometime this summer I'll be on orientation. I didn't much like orientation in the first place, but it's all good... I'll have plenty of NEW things to learn and become familiar with as well as get my own routine going up there.

It'll be different. Different is good... and they're excited to have me. I'm excited to have them.

On the "not negative" front... I have to be honest with all of you... I'm putting up a front. It's my way of protecting myself. My husband knows this and probably some of my friends do as well. Hope is something I've always lived with... no matter what the item on the agenda was... the "not negative" I'm hoping I'll soon be able to use the "ositive" word for... I'm a chicken and I'm okay with that... We say our prayers and send up positive thoughts and ask God to look out for the "not negative" also telling him we understand if it's not meant to be... because we do, but hoping against all the odds that somehow we finally end up with something good... something miraculous.

Recurrent pregnancy loss is something that will always be with me... some of the things it's brought to me are good... some are bad. The good - a husband that truly is with me... the bad - an ob history that makes novice ob residents cringe... the good - faith that eventually it will all work out that... the bad - that awful fear that something will go wrong with a pregnancy...

Now there are some women you need to go give a big congratulations to... the first is Jill - Knocked Up... Knocked Down The second is Robber Barron - Ovaries on Strike


Mandy said...

We all have our ways of dealing with the difficult things in our life. Only now am I really letting myself believe that I've almost made it to 16wks. Know that I'm thinking lots of "ositive" thoughts for you as well. Hope the managers decide soon as when you get to start your new job.

Jill said...

Hi, Sami. Thanks for sending people over to congratulate me. I very much appreciate your support and kindness.

I am hoping and praying so hard that this "not negative" will turn into something miraculous and good for you.

Congratulations on your new job!

Marz said...

Where I work gossip spreads like wild fire too, I hate that.
I'm glad to see that you're still "not positive". Hopefully you can soon change that. I totally understand being guarded like you are, after that many losses.