Sunday, November 19, 2006

Apparently I'm not Rotten and How to Make Your FIL Fret...

First off FSH numbers - would have had the results last night IF the damn lab had run them - apparently they are only done on first shift. I called at 10 a.m. to get the results... Normal is less than 9... Mine was 4.0. Phew - I feel like I dodged a bullet there. Apparently Nurse Sweetie was right... we shall see what this month brings, but having one number makes me a bit more relieved.

I didn't start worrying till I was playing bulletin board bingo with a doctor and he mentioned crap egg qualities as a reason for my response. It's nice to know I'm not rotten yet!

On to the rest of the story...

A few months ago during a heated debate with FIL I said "Grandma doesn't even like me." He apparently has been fretting about this thought ever since. Me - not so much. I believe it's a bonus a perk if your husband's extended family likes you. I am fairly confident that few of my husband's extended family (all the ones on my FIL's side like me) and a select few on my MIL's family like me. I could care less either way. I interact with these people rarely now that D's over here that it really doesn't matter. D isn't even sure if his mom's extended family likes him and again we don't care.

FIL is worried about this and he called and spoke with D and begged him to tell me that grandma likes me. That her behavior is just her way. (She's an old bat... she's the one that I pissed off and D has pissed off just by opening our mouths...) Loving is not a word I would use to describe her. We have 1 picture of her at our wedding... she left after the ceremony rather than staying for pictures so we have NO pics with her because she left. Nice huh... can't imagine why I might think she doesn't like me? My feelings came to a head a few months ago when I pissed off grandma royally... she got all huffy, quit talking, said snotty things etc. Let me also say I don't intentionally try to piss off grandma - I can't help it if she wants to defend a convicted felon and I disagree. Most people would side with me on this one if they knew the true story. Actually those of you that know the full story have sided with D and I on our feelings about D's twisted extended family.

So D relayed his dad's feelings to me... and I laughed, D laughed when I responded with - does he honestly think I worry about this? Because we rarely talk about D's family except when the holidays come around. This year is a challenge because teh convicted felon is out of jail and D has some HUGE anger issues in regards to him. (The convicted felon is D's cousin and his crime is awful and just talking about him makes D angry) D told his dad that we wouldn't be at Christmas either... and that went over like a lead balloon. He invited them over - and of course was told well "J and the girls will be up..." which equals we can't come up because we have to visit with them.

D says that doesn't hurt him, but I think it does... he says "it's the way it always has been." To me it's wrong, but again I'm from two parents that would move heaven and earth to spend a holiday with me... if I couldn't come home - they came to me. My mom is coming to us so that she can spend the holidays with us. D's an only child for goodness sake I thought his parents would do the same, but again - I'm proven wrong... they would rather spend their holiday season with the extended family then their own son. I think FIL would come over but MIL is fearful of her old bat of a mother if she bucked tradition and spent the holidays with us. Yes I know I sound bitter... I'm not, but I think on some level it hurts D and to hurt D you hurt me and well... it pisses me off. One of these days FIL and I will have a talk about all this. Until then I have to call and let him know that truthfully could give a rats ass less if grandma in law likes me or not... her opinion of me doesn't count. I don't need her approval. I have his son's love and that's all I'll ever need. Anything else is a bonus.

Should be a fun conversation huh...

*I know FIL cares about me and I know my MIL does as well - they like me because I do bring a lot of joy to D's life and I love him more than words can say... and they recognize that. My MIL doesn't get me, but she tries... and my FIL enjoys me... I think that's good enough. The rest of the family can well - fly a kite.

3 comments:

Mandy said...

D's family just baffles me as well. I can't believe they wouldn't want to spend the holiday w/ the two of you. You and I have had this conversation so many times already though...

And don't get me started either on his idiot cousin. I'm glad that you guys are standing your ground. Hopefully someday, one of them will understand why you guys are choosing to distance yourself from that ugliness.

Maya said...

Sami - I need an email to invite you to continue to read my blog. You can email me @ infertilitygrace@gmail.com

Leggy said...

Oy- at least I'm not the only one with crazy family & inlaw stories. I hope you find a way to deal with them over the holidays. And great FSH- good luck on your next cycle.